Vault Wanderer is one of those horny little parody projects that feels like it started as a shitpost between friends on Discord and somehow became an actual game. You play this guy who crawls out of a comfy underground vault into a wasteland that is less about radiation and more about who is fucking who, and with what. The whole thing mixes classic turn based RPG combat with stupid jokes and very explicit scenes that just kind of slam into you out of nowhere. One second you are clicking through some goofy dialogue about bottle caps, the next you are watching a futa raider get her dick sucked in a surprisingly long animated loop while your character pretends he is not into it. The game loves voyeurism like crazy. Almost every location has some “oops I walked in on them” moment, except it is never really an accident and everybody is cool with you standing in the corner jerking off. Or pretending to “research.” The writing knows exactly what it is doing: it makes fun of the wasteland clichés, then uses the same clichés to justify a harem route where every big tits, big ass, wrong-race-for-this-town waifu somehow ends up in your camp.

What surprised me most is how messy but confident the sandbox structure is. You are just dropped on the surface with this point and click map and told to explore, and the game absolutely does not care if you go straight to a lesbian futa bar and stall your “main quest” for two hours doing nothing except footjobs and blowjobs in different outfits. There is real RPG stuff happening in the background: stats, turn based fights, random encounters that sometimes end in actual combat and sometimes turn straight into oral sex scenes if you pick the horny dialogue option. I lost one fight because I was too distracted watching the enemy’s boobs bounce in the attack animation, which is a stupid reason to reload, but here we are. The art is simple 2D CG but the animations have just enough motion to make the scenes feel alive without turning into weird rubber people. Some of the interracial setups are actually hot, then the game drops a joke so bad it short circuits the mood and you kind of hate it for ten seconds, until the next harem scene where three girls are roleplaying “capturing” you and you forget you were mad. The mobile support is oddly good too; I tried it on my phone while half-slouching on the couch with Chrome open and it ran smoother than some serious games on Steam. Sometimes the text spacing gets fucked on smaller screens and nobody bothered to fix it, which annoyed me for like a full minute while I was trying to read a masturbation scene and the last line wrapped in a stupid way, and then I clicked next and forgot. That is basically the whole vibe here: horny, rough around edges, a little broken, but when the wasteland mommy with huge boobs kneels down for oral and the camera zooms in just right, your brain stops caring about polish completely.

Local suburb, dead quiet, then this game drops you right in the middle of the kind of fucked up “family visit” everyone pretends never happens. You’re the short angry little dude in the house, the one with the chip on his shoulder and the impossible sister. She’s blonde, stacked like someone lost control with the breast slider, ass so fat it looks like the chair is about to file a complaint. She walks around like clothes are just a light suggestion, bending over in front of you, phone in her hand, half distracted, half teasing, like she knows exactly what she’s doing and still acts innocent. There’s this weird energy where you kinda hate her and kinda stare at her all the time. The game leans into that, hard. Sometimes she calls you “little man” and it stings more than it should. Sometimes she “forgets” to close her door and the angle you get is straight from a porn thumbnail. It feels trashy in a very deliberate way, like the dev is laughing and saying “yeah, you wanted this, don’t pretend.”

Then the local legends arrive. Big black dude, total neighborhood myth, the kind of guy every jealous little brother imagines as the worst possible scenario. Next to him, his smaller white sidekick, not small actually, just smaller than the giant. They show up with that lazy confident walk, like they already know what’s going to happen in this house and nobody can stop it. The moment they see your sister, the whole vibe shifts. Dialogue instantly goes from semi-normal to porn audition level, talking about her body, her ass, what they want to do to her, right in front of you. They’re not even subtle. It’s like the game wants you to sit in that humiliation, watching these walking meat towers size up your own blood, and the worst part is she doesn’t shut it down. She blushes, laughs, pretends to be offended, but she keeps giving them looks that say everything. The camera loves those moments, clinging to her huge boobs pressing against her shirt, her ass accidentally brushing against the black chad when she walks past him in the hallway. Accidentally. Sure.

There’s this one scene that stuck to my brain like gum on a shoe. You’re in the living room, pretending to play on your phone, but both of them are on the couch with her. She’s in the middle, practically drowning between them, the black guy’s hand stretched along the back of the couch, fingers a breath away from her shoulder, his white buddy leaning in close to whisper something in her ear that makes her cover her face with both hands. The text you get is pure taunt: they talk about “rearranging her insides,” about how your little body could never handle what she clearly wants. And the game doesn’t cut away. It lingers, zooms slightly, lets you see every little change in her expression while they crowd her space and you sit there, small, useless, pissed, and turned on in a way that makes you slightly hate yourself. It’s cheap, it’s crude, it’s absolutely not subtle, and then out of nowhere there’s one throwaway line from your sister showing she actually cares about you and it almost ruins the whole horny mood for a second. Almost. Then she bends over to pick something up, her ass swallowing her shorts, and your brain goes quiet again. I still don’t forgive the dev for the shitty text box font, by the way. It’s ugly as hell and I kept noticing it when I tried to focus on her tits, which feels like a crime.

There’s this weird cozy-horny vibe to Growth Academy that kinda sneaks up on you. At first it feels like some chill school-life VN where you just arrived on this hidden island college, meet a couple of classmates with too-big sweaters and oddly shy teachers, and you think “ok, normal harem setup, I know this”. Then suddenly someone’s boobs are stretching her uniform day by day, another girl’s ass doesn’t fit in her chair anymore, and the game just treats it like it’s as normal as exchanging Line IDs. I liked that actually. Nobody is screaming “oh no I am a freak of nature”, it is more like “my tits grew two sizes again, can you help me carry my books” and then five minutes later you are face first in her cleavage. The whole place feels like a horny rehab center where the cure is more sex. Also the island lore is lowkey interesting even when you came only to see giant jiggling body parts crash into doorframes. I kept telling myself “okay one more scene then I close it and touch grass” and suddenly I’m trying to max out affection with a girl whose thighs could crush a small car, just because I wanted to see what happens if she really lets go during sex. Spoiler: she does not hold back.

The erotic part leans hard into growth, but it does not rush. Some routes are very slow burn, you watch a girl’s body change over many days, clothes getting tighter, camera angles getting more pervy, your MC pretending he is surprised even though you obviously keep choosing the horny dialogue. One of my favorite moments was sneaking into the dorm at night and the game casually drops a sleep sex scene like “oh yeah this is a thing here”. No drama, just you sliding under the covers, touching big warm flesh in the dark while the UI quietly pops up new corruption flags. Then later the same girl acts all innocent in class, except she can’t button her shirt anymore and the teacher keeps looking and you feel like everyone is lying to each other and it turns you on more. There’s futa stuff, lesbian scenes behind the gym, some dommy girls that use you like a toy, a succubus who basically blackmails you with your own dick, group sessions that feel like a school project gone very wrong, and a few “oh shit, did that just count as cheating” moments that made me pause for like two seconds before clicking “continue”. I wish they would stop teasing pregnancy and then not go full explicit with it, but I get it, I still hate it. Also there’s this whole persona-ish schedule and dungeon tone in the background where you manage days, build stats, poke at mysteries, but half the time I forgot about the big island secret and just chased bigger tits and thicker asses like some caveman with a smartphone. It’s messy, horny, kind of clumsy at times, some scenes hit like top tier hentai, some feel like they were written at 4% brain battery, but it has that “one more click” energy that makes you keep an incognito tab open way longer than you plan.

You wake up in this fucked up little pocket of reality that feels like someone mixed a murder scene with a wet dream and forgot to clean either part. There’s wax on the floor, candles half melted, and a skeleton that won’t shut up about fate and sin like a drunk philosopher on Discord at 5 in the morning. You’re supposed to be a detective, right, the serious type, solving cases and writing reports, but the game keeps poking at you, like it knows what kind of shit you watch in incognito mode. The demon girl in the cell looks at you like she’s already seen every bad thought you ever had about your teacher, your neighbor, that one milf on Instagram with the suspiciously perfect big tits. She talks slow, teasing, like she’s unwrapping your brain the way most hentai girls unwrap a cock, and the creepy thing is she’s not even wrong. The whole thing feels like an interrogation where you’re the one getting stripped.

It pretends to be horror at first, with this prison that doesn’t follow normal logic, doors that appear where there was only stone, and reality bending around your choices, but then it starts slipping in sex like it’s nothing. One minute you’re checking a crime scene, the next you’re spying through a keyhole at some girl in a school uniform getting “tutored” a little too hard by a futa teacher with a cock that obviously breaks school rules. You follow one lead and end up watching a corrupted housewife kneel down and take a slow, messy blowjob that turns into a creampie she’s totally not supposed to enjoy, because she still has a husband somewhere in this story, I think. The game doesn’t stop there. It keeps pushing the whole cheating thing, netorase stuff, voyeur scenes where you’re told to watch, to record, to blackmail. The demon keeps asking which choice turns you on more, the broken girl begging for more or the proud one who ends up collared and slapped until she does what she’s told. There are pixel art bits that somehow feel dirtier than the “serious” 3D renders, like when a tiny growing girl slowly turns into a giantess and pins a terrified, naked succubus under her ass, grinding on her face like it’s some casual Tuesday. And you think, I didn’t ask for that, but yeah, I kind of did.

What I really care about, and the game kind of half-asses, is the interface. For something with this much psychological stuff and roleplaying choices, it acts like everyone has perfect eyesight, perfect reflexes, perfect mouse control. Tiny dialogue text on bright backgrounds with fancy fonts that look nice for ten seconds, then start to hurt. There’s a lot of clicking through long scenes, especially the slow burn corruption parts, and no real “hey, my hands get tired, can I use my keyboard more” options. You can’t bump font size without going into awkward system zooms like you’re reading a PDF from 2009. There are sound cues for important choices, but no real detailed volume sliders, so if you have sensitive hearing or use headphones because, you know, you don’t want your whole house hearing a futanari nun spanking a schoolgirl until she squirts, you’re stuck juggling Windows mixer and hoping the demon doesn’t suddenly moan at full blast. The sex scenes are hot, sure, in that messy mix of bdsm, femdom, incest hints, sleep sex, pregnancy scares and “she says no at first but then she’s dripping” way that a lot of adult games push, and the sandboxy structure lets you stalk characters, watch them in showers, tease them with toys, push them toward group sex in the “wrong” route. But for a game that loves fucking with your head about control and consent, it doesn’t give you much control over basic comfort. No colorblind modes for clue highlighting, no text-to-speech hooks, no simple way to slow down auto-advance if you process English slower than native speakers. It wants to dig into your secret kinks like it’s reading your diary, yet it treats access like an afterthought, like if you can’t keep up with fast text and tiny buttons then you’re not invited to the orgy. Which is kind of funny, because the whole story is about doors that shouldn’t exist, but when I actually need a door like “bigger UI” or “less click spam” that one never appears.