I don’t know who came up with the idea to mash Makima, Zelda, and Tsunade into the same world, but whoever it was probably spilled beer on their keyboard halfway through writing the script - and that’s what makes *D20 Magic Dice* feel alive. It’s messy, horny, strangely sentimental at times, like watching late-night anime reruns after a breakup. You’re talking to this dice thing (yeah, an actual dice), and before you even realize it, it’s making your thoughts real. Not just the good ones. I rolled a 3 once and ended up in some half-lit tavern where Widowmaker was arm wrestling Rumi for no reason while Zelda flirted with the bartender. I think I lost track of the main plot two minutes in, but it didn’t matter. The game doesn’t care either, it just keeps throwing beautiful chaos in your lap, all soft skin and heavy breathing mixed with dumb jokes about mana points.

What I liked most is how it doesn’t pretend to be clever. The dialogue’s sometimes broken, and the pacing jumps like old VHS tape - one second you’re teasing Ada Wong, next second Tsunade’s lecturing you about responsibility while sitting on your lap. There’s some strange comfort in that inconsistency. I did wish there were more sound options though; moans hit too loud compared to everything else, made me lower volume quick before neighbors got curious. And yet, when Makima whispers in that weirdly calm tone, you kinda forgive every bug. Maybe nostalgia blinds me - I grew up on janky flash hentai crossovers, and this feels like one resurrected from 2009. The dice mechanic almost feels secondary to the conversations, which twist between sincere and absurd so fast it makes you laugh mid-erection.

Sometimes I forget which universe I’m even in - Naruto? Overwatch? Who cares. The worlds blur, the clothes vanish, and someone says something about destiny while you’re trying not to roll another damn six. Three words? Chaotic, filthy, affectionate. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

Evil mage steals a rival’s body, grabs his fancy tower and all the arcane toys inside, then immediately gets cockblocked by three clueless apprentices banging on the front gate. That’s basically the setup, but the game leans hard into the fun side of being the bastard in charge. You’re not some shy virgin hero; you’re a smug asshole already sitting on the throne, trying to corrupt three walking disasters in robes and cleavage. One’s a big titty muscle girl who looks like she could bench the castle walls and your face at the same time, one’s a blonde with that “I read one spellbook and now I think I know everything” energy, and one’s a quieter brunette who you just know is hiding some kinky brainrot under that polite smile. All three of them worship the guy whose body you stole, so the whole thing is you pretending to be him while slowly twisting their faith, their morals, and yeah, their legs.

The writing doesn’t waste time on “oh no, is this wrong?” stuff. It dives straight into teasing, power games, and that nice slow burn where you keep pushing boundaries until suddenly you’re using magic to pin a knight girl against a stone wall and she’s moaning your stolen name like a prayer. One scene had me laughing because you’re in this grand hall, supposed to act like the wise archmage, and instead you’re trying not to stare at the blonde’s tits bouncing while she lectures you about “responsible magic usage”. Bro, she’s scolding the evil mage with a stolen body and doesn’t notice a thing. Peak comedy. Then five clicks later she’s kneeling between your legs, talking about “serving the realm” with a straight face while your cock is basically her new holy relic. That shift is where the game shines: choices look simple on screen, but suddenly they branch into “soft corruption” or straight “shut up and obey, whore” territory, depending how much of a bastard you feel like being that click.

What I liked most is how it keeps the domination fantasy playful instead of just screaming edge all the time. You can be cruel, yeah, but the humor keeps peeking through, like the demon girl who pops in acting like tech support from hell, giving you tips on how to break minds and backs in the same evening. There’s even a scene with an armored knight chick, all righteous and shiny, getting used as a toy in the tower dungeon, the kind of “I’ll never yield” speech while she’s literally riding you raw. Interracial stuff pops up without making a big fuss about it; it’s just part of the world, like “oh yeah, here’s a demon with purple skin and hips wide enough to block a doorway, obviously she wants to help you corrupt the apprentices”. Not everything is perfect; sometimes a line lands a bit cringe, like something you’d see in a horny Reddit thread, and a few transitions feel like the writer clicked “fast forward to sex” in their own brain. But then you get a moment where the muscle girl casually lifts you a little while kissing you against those old castle stones, and your evil mage is thrown off his own dominance for a second, and it feels weirdly hot and funny at once. You go from serious fantasy castle vibes to “haha, ripped spell mommy” in one scene. It’s messy, horny, sometimes clumsy, but that’s exactly why it works here.

Princess Sarah looks like the kind of girl who should be hanging in some palace gallery, not crawling through mud while a drunk mercenary decides if she’s going to pay for safe passage with coins or with her mouth. That contrast is basically the whole flavor here: fine perfume and rotten back alley mixed in one glass. The game really leans into her being this soft, educated royal girl who keeps getting dragged into situations she is absolutely not prepared for, and the hotter scenes are exactly when your “proper” choice brain fights with your nasty one. On Steam or itch I usually skip long text scenes, but here I caught myself reading everything on the phone in bed, auto forward off, just tapping slowly like some degenerate book club. The writing is simple but weirdly sharp at times, then suddenly clumsy in the next line, which kind of fits her whole fall-from-grace vibe.

The art is the main reason I even clicked it. Sarah’s body is not that plastic “porn gacha” style you see in a lot of browser stuff. She has this soft, almost painterly look, like someone spent real time deciding what her nipples look like in different lighting. Some CGs are insanely on point: her in a torn gown, cheeks wet, eyes half gone, that little royal necklace still on her throat like a joke. Then the next scene you get a weird hand that looks like it belongs to another species. It annoyed me for five seconds, then I was back zooming the screenshot on my tablet in Google Photos to check a tiny detail on her expression. The faces carry a lot of weight here. When she gives in, you can see the shift from panic to that dangerous “maybe I like this” flicker, and those are the moments where the lewd hits hardest. Also the sound is better than it has any right to be. No voice acting, but the moans and wet noises are just crunchy enough in my cheap HyperX Cloud II to make me lower the volume in Discord because I swear someone could tell what I’m doing through background echo. The subtle music loop when she’s trying to act noble at a feast and you know everything is about to fall apart is great, then later you hear a lonely variation of it when she is basically property in a tent. Stuff like that made me keep my headphones on even when I could have muted.

Gameplay wise it is just a wall of choices stacked like bad Tinder decisions, but the game is not shy about punishing you. You pick the “brave” option, suddenly you are half naked in a filthy barn, seed dripping down your thighs because you tried to stand up to the wrong guy. Pick the “coward” option, cool, now you belong to someone you hate and the scenes drag out that helpless roleplay. For example, I tried to keep her as untouched as possible on my first run, always taking the safest path, and I ended up in this weird survival route where she is constantly trading dignity piece by piece instead of one big collapse. On the second run I went full corrupt princess in about five clicks and somehow felt worse, because the game remembers what she was before. Little callbacks in the text stab you with “you used to be” while she is kneeling with a collar on. Consequences actually matter here, not in some number meter on the side, but in how the scenes are framed. Sometimes the same sex act plays completely different depending on how broken or proud she still is. One thing that annoyed the hell out of me: the skip and auto features sometimes jump you right past a line you wanted to savor, especially during longer gangbang setups, and of course there is no rewind, so you are stuck reloading an old save like a pervert perfectionist. Anyway, if you want to squeeze every dirty drop out of it, I’d say play “serious” the first time on PC with a decent screen, read slowly, don’t spam the quicksave like a coward, then go back in a second run on your phone or Steam Deck and deliberately ruin her, just to see how far the writers allow this princess to fall before the world finally eats her.

Game hits you with that cheap jump scare first, like some old YouTube screamer, then suddenly you are just in this tiny bedroom with a catgirl kneeling on your mattress, tail flicking, hoodie half open, like she respawned out of your search history. She talks way too casual for something that was licking your cheek a second ago, and her robot buddy on the desk keeps beeping horny little comments, like ChatGPT but if it was allowed to be a total perv. The vibe is weirdly cozy and fucked up at the same time: lights low, messy floor, VR headset tossed in the corner, browser on incognito, and this girl with ears and a collar explaining that you “kinda accidentally” asked for her during a lucid dream. Then your tanned childhood friend just barges in, sweaty from practice, sports bra under that loose shirt, thighs looking like she can snap your neck, and the game instantly goes from awkward hentai scenario to full “oh no I have to actually choose between them” chaos. Except it does not let you stay pure for long, because the sandbox part kicks in fast.

What sold me is how the lewd stuff slowly crawls from goofy to really filthy. At first it is innocent groping “for data”, the robot telling her to test your stamina, her sitting on your lap casually while pretending it is a “science experiment”, your dark skinned wrestler buddy teasing you by pinning your arms and grinding down “like training mount control”. Ten minutes later you are in this bizarre three way exhibition setup where the robot projects your porn search stats on the wall while catgirl milks you with her tits, long slow titfuck while she purrs and leaks a bit of milk herself if you pushed her down the lactation path earlier. Yes, they actually track that with little stat sliders tucked in your phone menu, same place you manage pregnancy risks and suppression pills, which is so on the nose it becomes funny. You start checking fertility charts with the same seriousness I normally keep for Google Analytics, except here the KPIs are “days until catgirl goes into heat” and “chance that the wrestler gets creampied after shower scene”.

Game keeps mixing cute and messed up like that. One route I picked had the tan friend challenge you to a “submission match” on the living room floor, loser has to obey for the night. I tried to play fair, ended up with my face in her armpit and my hands tied behind my back with a belt. She rode my mouth first out of pure spite, grinding till she actually squirted all over my chin, laughing when the robot measured the splash distance. That same run, later, she made you fuck her from behind in the hallway with the door half open, neighbors’ footsteps outside, her moaning way too loud on purpose so you feel that humiliation creep in while still pumping her full and watching her stomach twitch when she feels the cum spill deep. The catgirl route goes more horror and sci fi if you lean into the superpower stuff: she glitches the lights, pulls some psychic domination, freezes your body mid stroke so she can sit on your cock and edge you, denying the orgasm until you are shaking, then forces a raw creampie where her eyes roll back ahegao style and her belly gives this tiny bump animation after. At one point she makes a clone of herself out of this slimy monster girl goo, and suddenly it becomes a group sex scene with two catgirls giggling while they share your dick between mouth and ass, keeping you right at the limit, the robot counting “denied orgasms: 7” in the corner like some cursed Excel sheet. I kinda hate how the UI sometimes bugs and the text boxes overlap in the most intense moments, but when you are watching an elf cosplay scene where your tanned fighter wears fake ears and gets throat fucked on the couch while the real catgirl records from the wardrobe crack, you just let it slide. Vaginal, anal, oral, handjobs under the table while you pretend to play a horror game, lesbian domination where the wrestler slaps the catgirl’s ass till it goes red and makes her lick your shaft before she sits down on it herself, even a messed up virgin blood fetish joke when you finally break that hymen flag on one route. It is all there, messy, horny, way too raw, like someone dumped their whole tag history into one save file and forgot to clean the edges.