Didn’t think I’d even bother with another “casting couch” parody, but WaifuHub kinda trapped me there for a while. It’s one of those browser things that pretends to be ironic, except it isn’t, or maybe it is, I don’t even know anymore. You play as the guy behind the camera, interviewing all these anime girls you’ve seen a million times before - 2B shows up all confident and stiff, Raphtalia’s nervous like she’s in a real audition, and Lucoa just… well, she’s Lucoa, she doesn’t care what anyone thinks. The voice acting’s weirdly uneven, and sometimes the moans cut out at random, which somehow made it more real? Like catching some clumsy home-recording vibe. But yeah, the animations hit that point between funny and hot. You’ll laugh when Galko starts her self-introduction too seriously and then forgets she’s supposed to be seducing you, and then it hits you - you’re actually into this.

What got me wasn’t even the sex scenes (well, okay, some of them). It’s that stupid fake dialogue right before things go wild. Meiko saying she’s “totally professional” and then two sentences later losing it on camera - it’s dumb but oddly human. I kept noticing small stuff: the sound of sandals scraping, the way hands twitch when the pace changes. The dev probably didn’t plan half of that; it’s just dirty accident magic. Though I swear the skip button hates me - it freezes every other time I touch it. Doesn’t matter though, since you end up watching everything twice anyway. And Cheelai? She breaks the fourth wall once and it ruined me, I laughed so hard I forgot I was supposed to jerk off.

Somewhere around Mitsuki’s scene I caught myself thinking about how strange it is that we build whole universes of desire around characters that started out as jokes for teenage boys. Then I gave up thinking because Mina’s turn came and - yeah. Animation’s rough around the edges, lines are bad, the logic is nonsense, but damn if it doesn’t feel alive in that broken way cheap porn sometimes does. I still can’t figure out why 2B blushes differently depending on the camera angle. Maybe it’s intentional. Probably not. Doesn’t matter.

You arrive in Canbe Valley with a broken house, a dead family, and a town that looks like some cozy farming sim from the outside but smells like rotten sex and money the more you walk around. It pretends to be clean, polite place where everyone smiles too wide, yet every corner has someone whispering about “special services” or asking if you’re “open to arrangements.” Your old farm is barely standing, the fields are empty, and your only real asset is that people in this valley need someone discreet who won’t ask too many questions. Somehow that ends up meaning you. One moment you’re fixing the fence and selling a bit of milk, next moment you’re negotiating with a bored noble’s pet monster girl who wants to sneak out at night for “training” sessions that definitely are not about combat.

The game plays like a messy sandbox where the main quest keeps nudging you toward the city’s filth, but you can just fuck off and check random places, talk to random girls, pick random jobs. One day you run into a shy catgirl who’s technically someone’s property and technically not allowed to talk to you. She still meets you behind the barn, kneels in the hay, starts giving you this hesitant, sloppy blowjob where she keeps looking up like she’s afraid someone will see. She apologizes every time she gags. It’s lewd, a bit wrong, and the game does not stop to lecture you. Another time, a sharp-tongued priestess type in town drags you to a back room, orders you to sit, then starts stroking you off with that fake holy smile, telling you this is “necessary purification.” Her handjob starts controlled and calm, then she speeds up when you push her buttons in dialogue, goes from cold superiority to quietly panting against your ear. The scene just keeps going, changing camera angles, changing pace, until you blow on her robes and she pretends to be outraged while obviously loving it.

What I liked a lot is how sex is wired into everything without the game screaming “hey, porn scene here!” all the time. You help with some shady slave paperwork, later the same girl shows up on your farm, half scared, half curious, and if you play it right she slowly shifts from “I have to obey” to “I want to play.” The corruption of the town feels baked into the economy: brothel owners want better girls, rich bastards want exclusive monster pets, and your farm becomes weird hub where human girls and monster girls cross paths. Sometimes you just want to explore, check a new district, then suddenly you’re in a brothel side room, getting your dick sucked by a spider-girl who has way too many hands for your own good. And yeah, the place is not pretty-clean heroic fantasy. There is slavery. There is prostitution that sits right on the line between exploitative and seductive, and the game just lets you wade in it and make your own compromises. It’s horny, grimy, a bit clumsy, and kind of perfect for anyone who likes their adventure with a lot of messy, uncensored sex wrapped around a fake “nice village” that is absolutely fucked under the surface.

New city, new school, and your first big decision is basically “study or jerk off while spying through somebody’s window.” That’s the kind of vibe this game has, and honestly it works way too well. You show up in this kinda normal-looking academy town, but everybody is obsessed with this card game that is clearly not balanced, not healthy, and definitely not safe for a school environment. One minute you’re trying to pass a boring class, next minute you’re locked into a turn based fight where you’re trying to outplay some smug bastard while also getting distracted by the fact that his mom has her tits spilling out of a blouse that should not pass any dress code ever made. The whole “Battles of Mythria” thing is like if Yu-Gi-Oh watched too much porn and decided clothes are optional while dueling. You sit there thinking about card synergies and suddenly the reward screen is a girl with a big ass bending over your desk, animated just enough that your brain goes “ok, yeah, I’m staying.”

The sex stuff is slow-burn and then somehow also not at all. You start with these teasing moments that feel like accidents: your hand “accidentally” landing on a thigh in the library, a MILF teacher leaning in a bit too close so your face is basically buried in her cleavage, brushing past a girl in the corridor and feeling way more than you should. The game loves voyeurism. A lot. You peek through cracked doors, watch a classmate masturbating on her bed while pretending you’re looking for a lost book, see a shower silhouette where the tits are just detailed enough that you pause your Spotify to focus. Sometimes it lets you decide: jerk off quietly right there with your mouse hand doing double duty, or save the tension for later so maybe she “catches” you another day and you end up with a handjob under a desk instead. And when a blowjob scene hits, it doesn’t just show it, it lingers. The lips move, saliva strings, her head rhythm matches the text boxes popping, and you forget there was supposed to be any kind of “plot mystery” in this town at all. The best part is when a card battle goes wrong, you lose, and the punishment is her pinning you down, pressing those huge tits into your face and groping you like you’re the prize. The worst part is the tiny hover tooltips in combat that flicker when you move the cursor too fast and now I’m mad thinking about it again because I kept misclicking like an idiot and skipping turns while half hard. Anyway, the art is this weird mix of clean 2D CG and clearly AI-touched details, so sometimes a nipple looks too perfect for a human hand and sometimes a hand looks like it’s almost grabbing three boobs at once, and somehow that makes it hotter. It’s messy, horny, and just serious enough that you pretend you’re here for the adventure, while your real “strategy” is figuring out which girl to push from teasing and groping into that scene where she drops to her knees in a quiet corner of the school and takes you in her mouth like you’re the rarest card in the deck.

Westview Academy looks like one of those nice, clean elite schools at first glance, the kind you’d see in some boring brochure, but this thing is more like a horny sandbox with uniforms and homework as optional decoration. You drop in as this talented “golden boy” type, but honestly you feel more like the only sane guy in a place where every corridor hides a new way to get distracted from studying. Music rooms that turn into impromptu seduction stages, locker rooms where you’re trying to be a gentleman and your camera angle obviously isn’t, teachers with tight blouses pretending they don’t notice you staring at their tits, or they notice and like it way too much. The game just hands you all this and goes “ok, don’t fuck it up” while giving you a million ways to fuck it up.

It calls itself a dating sim, but half the time it feels like you’re just poking at the world to see who gets horny first. Point and click, yeah, but not the boring type where you’re hunting pixels for 10 minutes. Here you’re clicking on the shower door in the girls’ locker room, knowing damn well the MC “didn’t mean to peek”, sure, and then the camera lingers on wet skin, big asses and bigger tits pressed against foggy glass. There’s this one scene where you’re supposed to be helping a classmate rehearse a music piece, and she keeps “accidentally” dropping her pick, leaning over the desk so her shirt gapes open, and you can either play it cool or lean into the teasing and watch her go from shy virgin to full-on blowjob under the piano in like three choices. I liked that it pretends to be a romance and then suddenly you’re balls deep in the auditorium after hours. Very classy. Completely not classy at all.

The harem side is kinda sneaky. You don’t immediately realize you can juggle multiple paths until you find yourself promising a study date to the cute nerd, a “private lesson” to the stacked music teacher, and a gym session with the thick track girl on the same afternoon. Somehow the game lets it work, at least if you’re not a complete idiot with your choices. It feels good when they all start reacting to each other: a milf teacher gets a bit too touchy and the jealous classmate is peeking through the window, and suddenly it turns into voyeurism from both sides, with you deciding if you want to show off or stay subtle. I had one scene where the black PE coach catches you “stretching” with a girl who’s very naked except for her socks, and instead of a game over he joins the fun with this casual “you two need proper guidance”, and boom, interracial threesome that came out of nowhere. The humor is also kinda dumb, in a good way. One moment you’re laughing at some meme-tier joke scribbled on a classroom whiteboard, next moment you’re clicking through a strip tease in the music room, watching the MC pretend he’s interested in “technique” while her bra hits the floor. It’s horny, clumsy, romantic, trashy and sweet, sometimes in the same scene, and I still can’t forgive that one stupid minigame where I misclicked and missed an obvious blowjob route in the bathroom, but whatever, I’m still going back to see who else I can add to the bed before the semester ends.