This Metroid parody throws all that space bounty hunter dignity right out the airlock. Samus gets herself captured and tied up, which honestly feels like terrible tactical planning for someone who usually blows up entire planets. But hey, that's where the fun starts because now she's completely at your mercy in this interactive playground of debauchery.

The soundtrack? Pretty basic electronic stuff that tries to sound futuristic but mostly just loops in the background while you're busy exploring all the different ways to mess with our helpless heroine. Speaking of exploring, there's actually a decent variety of toys and tools at your disposal - vibrators, tentacles, the works. You can strip her down piece by piece or keep some of that iconic orange suit on if that's your thing. The customization options are surprisingly thorough, letting you decide whether you want her shaved or natural, and there's even a pissing mechanic that's... well, it exists. Some people are into that water sports action, though the animation quality is pretty rough around the edges. The whole thing feels like it was made by someone who had big ideas but maybe not the biggest budget to execute them properly.

What really gets me is how they managed to make Samus look both vulnerable and still recognizably badass even while she's completely helpless. The facial expressions change based on what you're doing to her, which adds some nice reactive elements to the experience. You can work your way up from gentle teasing to full-on hardcore penetration, and everything culminates in some pretty explosive creampie scenes that'll definitely satisfy if you're into that finishing move. The physics on her chest bounce around more than they probably should, but honestly that just adds to the whole over-the-top hentai vibe they're going for here.

It’s a weird kind of wrong that feels almost too confident about itself. The game just throws you right into this hotel-room-styled tension between Ben and Gwen, like there’s no excuse, no build-up, just quiet breathing and the kind of slow curiosity that only gets worse the more you watch. The control scheme is barely there - you think you’re just clicking around to peek, but then you’re moving hands and lips like you’re trying to pass off an accident as an experiment. The pacing makes it feel like time stretches sideways. There’s that one moment where Gwen turns, half-asleep, and it’s not clear if she knows what’s happening, and you catch yourself leaning closer like a total creep. God help me, I think that’s intentional.

Half the time the audio feels too loud, but maybe that’s the point - it’s not polished, like it’s meant to break the “cartoon world” with uncomfortable realism. The blowjob scene looks like it was stitched together by someone who didn’t care about pretty, just raw motion, the way her throat tightens around him while he mutters things that sound more like apologies than dirty talk. And then when you switch to doggystyle, yeah it’s cliché, but the way the lighting flickers - it’s distracting as hell and, weirdly, kind of hypnotic. The game’s rhythm keeps screwing with you: it slows down on the heavy stuff like missionary creampie and then speeds up when you least expect, like the code itself is embarrassed about what it’s showing. I got annoyed at that. Then again, maybe that’s why I didn’t stop.

You can tell whoever made this knew exactly what nostalgia they were playing with, too. There’s this sick mix of childhood memory and adult hunger that no one wants to admit enjoying. Kind of like watching something too close to a secret. The handjob bit feels almost shy, then the facial lands out of nowhere, breaking the build-up in the most abrupt, stupidly real way. I hate that it worked. I hate that my mouse hand twitched even after the final loop restarted. If that’s not the most human reaction, I don’t know what is.

Goku is supposed to be this universe-saving hero, right? Here he’s just a horny idiot with his dick out while Chi-Chi is basically doing family planning with her legs spread. The whole thing feels like someone watched Dragon Ball Z, paused in the middle of a serious scene and said, “yeah but what if we actually see what happens when Goku gets home.” It doesn’t try to be deep. It’s literally Goku, Chi-Chi, a bed, soft anime colors, and a lot of pussy-focused camera work. Everything circles around Chi-Chi wanting that big cock buried in her so hard that she actually gets pregnant before Goku goes off to die again. It’s kind of funny how casual she is about it. Like, she’s breastfeeding future plot armor and also begging for cum in the next breath.

The game makes you actually work a bit for the creampie, which is nice and also kind of annoying. You can’t just slam-click your way through; you have to tease her, play with rhythm a bit, figure out where the pleasure meter likes to hover. I kept thinking “ok, just let me fuck her already, I know what I’m doing,” and then I’d rush it, push too fast, and she’d stay just under that sweet spot. The animations lock you into this slow build that’s weirdly intimate. You see Chi-Chi’s expression go from annoyed “Goku, focus” to proper horny, cheeks flushed, eyes half-lidded like she’s in heat. Then when you finally time it right and Goku unloads inside, there’s this thick cumshot dripping out of her pussy that hits way harder than it should. I closed the tab after finishing, then opened Chrome again five minutes later just to replay the creampie. And yeah, I was supposed to be answering Slack messages.

What I really liked is how small and focused it is. No pointless menus, no “pick your route” bullshit, no giant harem. Just one brunette wife, one dumb strong husband, and one goal: fill her up. At the same time, it gets almost too soft sometimes. Goku is fucking her, but the mood is so tender that you kinda want him to grab her harder, pull her hair, go full Super Saiyan on that pussy while she screams his name. Instead he feels like a very polite guy with a huge cock who’s trying not to break the bed. Still, when the camera zooms in and her pussy tightens around him, and that last thrust hits, all the little details click together. The slight jiggle of her tits, that needy sound she makes right before he cums, the white spill leaking past her lips like proof of “mission complete.” It’s not perfect, but I ended up replaying the same short scene more times than I want to admit, like looping a favorite dirty clip on Pornhub because it scratches a very specific, very horny itch.

This thing feels like someone smashed together a horny farming sim, a shitpost from Reddit, and that one fanfic where the author clearly loved the side characters more than the main plot. You land on this messy little farm that used to be great, apparently, and now it is basically a sex zoo with paperwork. The game tells you “you’re the boss,” but half the time it feels like you’re babysitting a bunch of needy, fuck-hungry animals that want attention, training, and way too much breeding. And yeah, it actually *is* about breeding, not just teasing. You’re throwing monsters into pens, pairing them up, checking stats like some perverted Pokémon professor who discovered heat cycles and never looked back.

What I liked is how fast it stops pretending to be classy. At first you think “oh, cute, farm, animals, funny,” then five minutes later you’re tweaking pairings just to see what kind of filthy hybrid comes out. I had this one scene where I pushed a tired beast way too hard because I wanted a specific trait, and it just collapsed in the pen while the game kind of shrugged like, “yeah, that happens.” No dramatic music, just a lazy system message and a worn out stud that still looks horny. The whole thing swings from hilarious to kinda fucked up in one click. And it is great. But also too much. But also I kept going, so that probably says more about me than about the game.

It has that very fanfic energy where canon logic is smiling politely in the corner while the author is busy writing “what if this cow-girl gets bred five times in a day and is still smiling” scenes. There was this moment where I finally unlocked a new area, expecting some big story thing, and instead it was just more ways to pimp out my livestock for coins and rare traits. No moral choices, no deep emotional payoff, just “you want better cum stats, right?” And I still clicked everything. At the same time, some parts feel oddly sweet, like when you check a creature’s profile and there’s this tiny line about what it “likes” in a partner. Completely unnecessary, totally horny, kind of adorable. I wish they pushed that little personality layer harder but they probably won’t and I kind of like that it stays half-baked and horny instead of turning into some tragic romance saga. The humor is stupid in a good way, like a Discord channel that never sleeps. Somewhere between min-maxing breeding schedules and selling off “extra stock,” you realize you’ve been staring at animated animal porn for way too long and the game still has new positions to throw at you. Then you breed one more pair anyway.

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Kasumi Rebirth feels like catching someone’s private mod folder that accidentally got pushed live and nobody had the heart to stop it. It’s just Kasumi, chained up, not doing the “cool ninja” thing at all, and the whole game is basically you seeing how far you can push her body before you get bored or feel weird about yourself. She hangs there in those metal restraints, soft skin, big tits squeezed by the outfit that you immediately start ripping off, because of course you do. There is no fake romance, no “story” pretending this isn’t what it is. You poke her, grab her, slide hands over her tits, pinch her nipples a bit too hard, then harder, just to see if the reaction changes. It turns into this quiet little lab experiment: what if I put fingers in her pussy first, then in her ass, then both, then ignore both and just use her tits like they are toys made of warm jelly. The game doesn’t judge. It just lets you be a freak in peace.

The main loop of Kasumi Rebirth is strangely hypnotic: click, drag, spread her legs, tilt her hips, line her up for doggystyle, then get distracted and go back to playing with her mouth. You pull her head back, slide a dildo between her lips, watch those eyes say everything without a single line of dialog. Deepthroat her with plastic, then switch holes like a bored god with too much free time. Pussy, ass, mouth, back to pussy, then push it in her asshole again just because you like the way she tightens around it. You can masturbate her slowly, tease her clit until she twitches, then ram something inside and go straight for a rough creampie like the concept of foreplay never existed. Cumshots on her face, on her breasts, slipping down her body, and at some point I tried to see if I could cover both tits perfectly and got annoyed because one drop kept sliding off the side in a stupid way that distracted me more than it should. There is also this breast expansion thing going on that feels like someone’s late-night fever dream: you start tweaking and pumping and suddenly her big tits are not just big, they are ridiculous, heavy, almost comical, but somehow it works because this game stopped pretending to be “normal” a long time ago. It is rough, it is ***-y, it is torture dressed up as “gentle play”, and yet the whole thing has this old-school Internet porn game energy that makes you keep testing one more position, one more angle, one more messy facial, just to see how far Kasumi’s body can be turned into a toy before you finally close the tab and swear you’re done with Dead or Alive girls forever.

It’s weird how this game starts like it’s pretending to care about plot. You think it’s about Tsunade gambling again, being her usual chaotic self, but nah - two minutes in and it just throws you into the mess. There’s this sense of shameless humor I kinda liked; it doesn’t even try to justify anything. She owes money, her solution involves clones, and everyone’s naked before you can blink. The sound effects are ridiculous - like someone mixed old arcade bleeps with wet noises, and somehow it works. I laughed, then got turned on, then laughed again. The rhythm feels accidental, like a loop someone forgot to trim, but that’s part of the charm. You can almost imagine some guy in 2008 coding it while blasting Eurobeat in the background.

What I didn’t expect was how expressive the faces are. Not polished, but raw in that flash‑era way where every exaggerated blink feels hand‑made. Tsunade’s boobs take up half the screen, sure, but her grin sells it more than the physics. I caught myself clicking too fast just to see if the clones would glitch out - and they did, kind of melting together mid‑animation. It’s oddly beautiful, like a broken GIF that refuses to die. The Raikage scene hits different - too fast, too much flexing, but there’s this energy, like two powerhouses trying to out‑moan each other. I remember thinking, “this shouldn’t be hot,” and yet.

Story? Barely there. But the pacing keeps you hooked, because it’s never just sex - it’s comedy wrapped around sweat. I like that it doesn’t moralize; it just exists, messy and loud. The cumshot ending lands with a splat that feels almost celebratory. Would I call it art? Maybe not. But it’s got that same rough soul as old chiptunes - imperfect loops, dirty fun, no pretense. You finish it and kinda want to replay, even though you know every beat. Maybe that’s nostalgia, or maybe I’m just into stupidly honest smut. Either way, it lingers.

Princess Peach in this thing is not the cute little damsel people remember from old school cartridge days. She wakes up basically drenched in yesterday’s fun, still with dried cum on her tits and belly, and the “oh no Mario is gone” energy is way more “shit, I need my dick back” than heroic quest. The whole game feels like somebody mashed an old Nintendo arcade with the kind of filthy hentai you’re not supposed to admit you watch, then said, yeah, Peach is a complete slut now, deal with it. You’re hopping through rooms of the castle, but every few screens you’re not really thinking about coins or enemies, you’re thinking “ok, who is she going to blow next and how hard is the cumshot going to hit her face this time.” It’s still that Mushroom Kingdom vibe, sort of, just with Peach dropping to her knees faster than a goomba gets flattened. Seeing her with her crown on, mascara a little messy, lips shiny with spit while she’s deepthroating some random troop that’s supposed to be Bowser’s guard is weirdly hot and kind of stupid in the best way.

The “levels” are basically excuses to set up more sex, and that’s not a complaint at all, except when it is. You press the same couple of keys to jump or dodge and then suddenly you’re locked into a blowjob loop where timing the strokes actually matters for how fast the guy explodes on her face. One mistake and you’re watching Peach choking and gagging, blonde hair stuck to her cheeks with semen, like she’s done this a thousand times, which she kinda has, lore-wise. I liked that there’s this one moment where she sneaks past a fire trap only to “accidentally” land on a cock waiting behind a column, like, girl, really, you didn’t see that? It made me laugh and jerk off at the same time, which is a cursed combo. But the game also loves to stall you with tiny annoying bits, like one segment where the platforming feels off by half a pixel and you just keep falling, losing the mood, until the next scene of her hungrily sucking off a chain chomp reskins your brain again. The parody is all over the place, like they misremembered half of Super Mario Bros and didn’t care, but that actually makes it hotter somehow, because it’s less respectful and more “fuck this childhood memory, Peach is a cock-hungry mess now and she’ll use sex as her only weapon until she gets her plumber back, if she even wants him after all that.”

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