Belle’s tits have their own gravitational pull, I swear. The way they just sit there in the character select, practically daring you to click. I went for her first, obviously. The animation when she bends over in that one pose, the one that’s definitely recycled from the dev’s earlier witch game, still hits. It’s a just-fuck game, you know the drill, no pretense of a story about saving a kingdom. Just a menu of girls and a menu of holes.

The threesome with Alison and Linda is where things get properly unhinged. There’s a moment where the beast tag suddenly makes sense, and it’s not some subtle hint. It’s a full-on, “oh, that’s a horse” moment right in the middle of the action. The sound design is a crime against headphones, a wet slapping that loops so badly it becomes hypnotic. I found myself just staring at Melissa’s idle animation for a solid minute, her dead-eyed anime stare boring a hole through my soul while the audio looped its sixteenth slap. It’s not polished. It’s not trying to be. The UI looks like it was built in a fever dream using a calculator app.

Linda’s beauty mark is on the wrong side of her face in one pose. I can’t unsee it. It’s such a tiny thing but it’s like a pebble in my shoe. The whole thing runs smoother than that one visual novel everyone pirates, though, no weird memory leaks. Just pure, concentrated degeneracy. The beast stuff isn’t even the weirdest part, the weirdest part is how serene Belle looks during it, like she’s filing her taxes. I think I respect the commitment to just being exactly what it is, a messy, horny slideshow with a few standout moments that’ll make you forget the jank. Then you remember the jank. Then you forget again. The loop continues.