Candy shop owner, right? That's the premise. But then it's suddenly about baking a wedding cake at 8 AM. Every morning. Like some perverted version of groundhog day but all you get is a massive pink dildo on the counter. I spent way too long just clicking on that thing. The physics, if you can even call it that, just makes it flop around. Not sexy, just... there. The cake itself looks like something that'd get you banned from a Midwestern bake sale.

The threesome tag got me thinking there'd be actual build up but nah. You're just mixing ingredients and suddenly there's a big cock involved. No real transition. One minute flour, next minute you're testing "cream fillings" and the humor is this weird deadpan absurdist thing where the character's expression never changes. That flat face while all this explicit stuff happens, it's so jarring it loops back around to funny. I laughed at a dick-shaped cake mold for a solid minute. The localization as a polyglot fan is... confusing. Some text feels machine translated, other lines have this bizarre poetry. "The sweetness of your creation rivals the morning's first breath." Who talks like that? Then a line right after says "Nice cock bro." Inconsistent doesn't cover it.

Forgot the candy shop part almost entirely. There's a jar of hard candies on the shelf you can't interact with. Drove me nuts. Why put it there? This tiny detail consumed my whole second play. The wedding aspect just means you're baking for some vague event, never see a bride or groom, just this endless cake testing loop. The big cock tag is accurate at least, front and center, hyper detailed while everything else looks like a rough sketch. If this game got a DLC, please just let me eat the fucking candy.