You know what I love? A game that doesn't pretend to be anything other than what it is. Neruhado, honey, is a cartoon fuck simulator with a dancing mini game and I respect that energy. The whole thing feels like someone made it in a weekend with a cracked copy of Flash and a dream. The art is rough, like, really rough. Maria looks like she was drawn from memory by someone who's only seen women in anime gifs. But there's a charm to it, a kind of "I don't give a fuck" aesthetic that I weirdly appreciate.

The gameplay loop is this bizarre tango. You click through some text, then there's a rhythm game where you press arrow keys to make this girl dance. The timing is... questionable. Sometimes I hit the key perfectly and she just stands there like a confused mannequin. Other times I'm three beats late and suddenly she's doing the salsa. It's infuriating. But then, if you do well enough, you unlock the sex scenes. And let me tell you, the animations are something else. It's like watching two crash test dummies discover friction. The sound design is just... absent? There's a weird clicking noise that might be the game or might be my laptop dying. I spent way too long trying to figure out if the "prepare her" mechanic actually changed anything or if it was just a placebo button. I'm still not sure. The whole thing has the energy of a Newgrounds submission from 2005 that got banned in three countries.

The "episodes with" tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting because the story is thinner than my patience. You meet Neru, you meet Maria, they want to fuck, you make them dance first for some reason. It's not deep. It's not trying to be. The hard cartoon style means everything is exaggerated in a way that's either hilarious or horrifying depending on your mood. One minute I'm cackling at the janky hip thrusts, the next I'm genuinely questioning the physics of the position they've contorted into. If you're going to play this, and I'm not saying you should, just accept that the dance segments are going to gaslight you about your own rhythm and the payoff is pure, uncut absurdity. Don't expect a masterpiece. Expect a mess. A horny, confusing mess.