Charlie keeps punching me in the tits and I'm not even mad about it. The whole thing is this weird card game where you pick attacks like "titty twister" or "cunt punt" and the damage numbers are just... suggestions. Taylor's blonde hair clips through her shoulder during the special move animation and nobody bothered to fix it. That's the energy here.

The "fight club" is literally just a room with two girls calling each other sluts until clothes fall off. Achievement tracking gets weird because half the unlocks trigger when they're not supposed to. I got "First Blood" three times before the tutorial ended. The big boobs physics engine is doing something that physics shouldn't do. Charlie's left tit once orbited independently for like four seconds. Not complaining. Actually yes I am complaining but also I screenshotted it.

Taylor's "Dirty" variant card says it does 69 damage. Subtle. The lesbian tension is about as subtle as getting hit with a brick that has "they're gonna fuck" written on it. Which they do. Eventually. The unlock path for the full scene requires losing specific matches in specific ways and the game never tells you this. Had to reset my progress twice because winning too much locks you out of content. Who designs it like that? The card descriptions have typos that feel intentional but probably aren't. "Club's name totally comply with actions" is actual text from the menu screen and I think about it daily.