The loading bar on this thing is a joke, right? It just sits there, filling up like a slow cooker on a Tuesday, and you start to wonder if your browser is having a stroke. Then bam, you're on a train in Japan, and there's Lala, Satsuki, Rinslet, Mamori. All these girls from, I dunno, some show I never watched, but it doesn't matter. The whole deal is you're a pair of hands on a packed subway car, and you've got to figure out the right spots to grope to make the points tick up. It's a minigame of sorts, a very specific, very grabby puzzle.

The art is rough, deliberately unpolished like the description says, which somehow makes it dirtier. It's not trying to be pretty. You pick a tool, a feather or a vibe or just your fingers, and you poke at the screen. The first time I got Satsuki's skirt to lift, the little point counter jumped and a new picture unlocked in the gallery, I felt this stupid, primal click in my brain. The gallery is where all your collected scenes go, a sticky trophy case. But the pacing, god. It's like waiting for a pot to boil, then it suddenly overflows. You'll be rubbing a thigh for what feels like forever, no reaction, and then you hit the edge of a stocking and the whole scene explodes into the next stage. The feedback is all over the place.

Mamori's scene, the one with the blazer, has this one spot near her collar that's just broken. You can tap it endlessly and the points just hemorrhage out, skipping half the build-up. It's a glitch, but it's my favorite part. The whole thing is a messy, horny flashback to old Newgrounds days, where the jank was part of the thrill. You don't play it for a smooth ride. You play it to see what weird, pixelated contortion you can unlock next, then you close the tab and forget about it until the mood strikes again. The sound is just some looping train noise that drills into your skull after ten minutes. I muted it and put on a podcast.