Katarina’s face is a mess and I think that’s the whole point. Not in a metaphorical way, I mean literally the animation just gives up on her eyes about halfway through. There’s this one frame where she’s looking up at Garen, or what I assume is Garen because the model is just a slab of beige polygons with a pauldron, and her expression is supposed to be sultry but it reads more like she’s trying to remember if she left the stove on. The red hair is the only thing rendered with any care, a bright crimson curtain that bounces with a physics engine that’s trying way too hard. It’s distracting. You watch it sway and loop and clip through her shoulder and you forget there’s supposed to be a titfuck happening.

The paizuri itself is a strange, frictionless affair. Her boobs, which are massive in that specific LoL fanart way, sort of glide over this guy’s dick without any real sense of pressure. No squish, no resistance. It’s like two water balloons buffering a log. The sound design, if you can call it that, is a single wet slapping noise on a loop that desyncs from the visual by a good half second. I spent more time being annoyed by the audio delay than anything else. The whole thing has this unpolished, almost charmingly broken feel, like a Source Filmmaker project from 2014 that someone uploaded and forgot about. The cumshot arrives with all the fanfare of a sneeze, a few white strands that land on her face and chest with the texture quality of melted mozzarella. Garen’s “resistance” is a single grunt at the start, then he just stands there like a statue. So much for Demacian morality. The whole thing feels like a reward for fans, sure, but a reward fished out of a bargain bin.