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Katies diaries Ep. 3
★ 4.5 (7)

⏰ Added: 👁 3K
My kid could probably figure out how to find this game faster than I can figure out why it exists. The browser just loads up this redhead, Katie, who has the emotional depth of a wet paper towel and a body that defies every physics lesson ever taught. She puts out an ad for a roommate, right? A magazine ad. Who even does that anymore, is this set in 1997? Anyway, guys call. They have muscles and, the game makes sure to point out with all the subtlety of a foghorn, big cocks. But she doesn't want them. The animation here is janky, like a flipbook made by someone who's only ever seen people move in other flipbooks. Limbs kind of glide to their positions.

Then Brandy shows up. Another set of massive tits with a person attached, and suddenly Katie's brain short-circuits. This is the entire plot. The "humor" tag must be for the absurdity of the dialogue, which reads like it was run through a translator that had a stroke. "She couldn't understand why she didn't want them." No shit, Katie, me neither. The sex that follows is a clumsy, silent affair of polygons clipping into each other. A big cock appears, physics go out the window, and the looping animation makes it look like they're both having some kind of shared, rhythmic seizure. It's about as erotic as watching two crash test dummies mate.

I spent more time trying to skip the painfully slow text than anything else. Click. Wait. Click. The sound design is just... absent. A void. Which is somehow worse than bad music. I wish there was a button to just make the whole thing move faster, but there isn't, and there won't be. It's the kind of thing you leave running in a background tab by accident and then panic when you hear a faint, repetitive slapping sound. The whole experience feels like finding a sticky magazine in the woods. You know you shouldn't look, but you do, and then you just feel a bit confused and need to wash your hands. The "redhead" tag is doing all the heavy lifting here for anyone with that specific itch, but the rest is just a fever dream animated in a spreadsheet.

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