Boss is in a meeting about synergy or whatever, so I'm alt-tabbing through this mess of a game. The art looks like someone drew it on a napkin during a boring flight, all shaky lines and weird proportions. But that's the charm, right? Wrong. The woman has three holes, which is a choice. Not a good one, but a choice. The tentacles are these wobbly purple things that clip through her body like a Bethesda glitch. I spent five minutes just watching one phase through her shoulder, completely missing the onihole it was supposed to be... penetrating? Fucking? The animation loops are janky, like a GIF from 2004 that never loads properly.

Soundtrack is just a single synth loop that drills into your skull. No voice acting, just wet squelching sounds that remind me of stirring mac and cheese. The match mechanic is basically a memory game for horny people, flip tiles until you unlock the next awkward position. Got stuck on a level because the hitboxes for the tentacles are about as precise as my drunk uncle's dart throws. Major frustration, fairly low enjoyment. The double penetration scene unlocked and it was just... two purple noodles clipping through a torso while the woman's face stayed completely blank. No reaction, no nothing. Like she's waiting for a bus.

Reminds me of that time I tried to use MS Paint to edit a photo for Tinder. Same energy. The funny tag is accurate but not in the way the dev intended. I laughed when a tentacle just detached and floated off screen like it had better places to be. Never came back. Respect, honestly. The whole thing feels like a flash game you'd find on Newgrounds at 2 AM, buried under seventeen pop-up ads for "hot singles." Not sure if I should recommend it or warn people. Maybe both. The onihole texture looks like a glazed donut.