Cheap motel carpet, the kind that sticks to your feet, and a blue alien chick who looks like she's been through a spin cycle. That's the opening image that burned into my brain. Not because it's hot, but because it's so aggressively janky you can't look away. The whole thing feels like a flash game you'd find on a forgotten corner of Newgrounds, back when people still used dial-up.

The sex minigame is where things get properly unhinged. You're basically playing a rhythm game with a pimp and his alien prostitute, except the rhythm is broken and the feedback makes no sense. Clicking pills to keep your stamina up while trying to match some invisible beat. She's in a daze, he's grunting, and the whole scene loops with the grace of a glitching VCR. It's not sexy. It's fascinating in the same way watching a car with three wheels try to merge onto a highway is fascinating. You know it's wrong, you know it's failing, but you can't scroll past. The gangbanged tag isn't just a warning, it's a promise delivered with the enthusiasm of a DMV employee.

Costello's art has this weird charm though. The alien design is actually kind of memorable, all sharp angles and tired eyes. But then the animation kicks in and it's like watching action figures get smashed together by a toddler. There's a moment where a sound effect doesn't play at all, just dead silence during what should be a climax, and I laughed so hard I had to put my phone down. My Discord mod instincts kept twitching, wanting to type "age check" in chat even though there is no chat. This game is a beautiful disaster. A mess. I've already played it three times.