Got that Destiny believer itch, you know, where you're fated to bump into something weird and perfect at the same time. This game is that. A blue haired punk girl, tattoos crawling up her arms like vines, bouncing in reverse cowgirl like her life depends on it. The whole thing feels like it was coded in a basement during a thunderstorm. Deliberately rough edges. Like someone took sandpaper to a porno.

And then the x-ray button. I clicked it by accident while trying to adjust the speed, because the speed controls are just these tiny unlabeled dots next to her thigh. Suddenly I'm staring at a transparent pelvis, seeing the anatomy do its thing. It's clinical but also, fuck, it's hot in this way I can't explain. Got a medal for something. No clue what I did. The game just popped up a badge and I sat there confused for a solid minute. Does the cumshot animation trigger automatically or do you have to earn it? I still don't know. I think I missed a "strange thing" somewhere. There's this one medal I keep almost getting, the bar fills up, then nothing. Just that blue haired punk staring at me with her permanent scowl, which by hour two feels oddly personal.

Tried showing my flatmate a screenshot of the medal page and he thought I was playing some broken flash game from 2006. The whole thing runs like it's held together with hope and corrupted jpegs. No polish. Zero. I respect that. But also why is the audio so loud on moans and so silent on everything else? My phone dropped from my hand when I first opened it on Chrome. The volume spike nearly summoned the building manager. The cumshot scene, when I finally figured out the rhythm, has this pixelated splatter that looks like a censored Japanese hentai from the dial-up era. Fated romance with a glitchy mess. I'm not even sure I won. The punk girl just keeps going. Maybe that is winning. Maybe I need to find the last medal. My Destiny chart said something about finding truth through chaos this month.