Ok I need to get this off my chest because nobody else is gonna understand why I'm so hung up on a game where you literally just wait at a cemetery gate. The fog effects are like someone smeared vaseline on the screen and the wolf howl loops every 15 seconds like a broken ringtone. But that girl. That stupid goth girl who materializes out of the mist with her ripped stockings and that look like she already knows exactly what pathetic thoughts you've been having. I've played enough dating sims to know the drill, pick the right dialogue, get the scene, move on. This one though, I kept picking the wrong options on purpose just to see how she'd mock me. The writing is so uneven, one minute it's actually clever and the next it's like a horny teenager's livejournal from 2006. But that's also why it works? There's this one path where if you admit you're scared of the cemetery she just laughs and calls you a little bitch, and I don't know what that says about me but I replayed that specific moment like four times. The sex scenes are surprisingly explicit, not like those games where everything fades to black or uses flowery metaphors. You get what you came for, anatomically speaking. But the real mindfuck is how the quest system barely matters, you're supposedly solving some mystery about her being a vampire or whatever, but I completely forgot about that after the second date. The twilight parody stuff is so heavy handed it wraps back around to being funny, like they named the town something stupid I can't even remember. Anyway my phone battery is at 4% and my boss just walked by so I should probably stop typing about cemetery boners in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon. The game's a mess but I'm still thinking about that one CG where she bites your neck and the blood looks like ketchup. Why is that the image stuck in my head.