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Screw Town: Journalistic Investigation
★ 3.6 (11)

⏰ Added: 👁 6.3K
The whole thing runs on a browser, right, and I'm clicking through this baseball team mystery in Fucktown College. Four championships. Something's off. The redhead coach with the massive rack keeps giving me these looks, and I'm supposed to figure out the secret sauce behind the winning streak. But honestly I got distracted by the brunette in the locker room scene, the one with the towel that doesn't actually cover anything. You know the type. The sport tag is there I guess, there's a baseball diamond and some uniforms, but it's really just a backdrop for the obvious.

My problem with these things is always the same. The dialogue trees feel like they were written by someone who just discovered English through porn captions. The milf character, some administrator or booster club president, she propositions you in this weirdly formal way that made me laugh out loud. Not the intended reaction probably. And the big tits physics, if you can call it that, are so aggressively bouncy that it loops back around to being distracting. Like watching jello molds in an earthquake. I kept clicking though. That's the thing. The college setting with its stupidly named Fucktown premise, it's so dumb it becomes almost charming. Almost.

There's this one scene with the redhead where you're "investigating" in her office and the game just sort of gives up on the sports plot entirely. You're three clicks deep into a sex scene and the championship mystery might as well be on Mars. I forgot to mention the actual gameplay. It's mostly clicking. You click on dialogue options, you click on body parts during the scenes. Sometimes there's a choice that seems important but isn't. The brunette's storyline involves some weird side thing about her being a former athlete, I don't know, I skimmed it. The whole thing feels like someone stapled together three different fantasies and called it a narrative. The redhead's animations are the most polished part, which tells you where the priorities were.

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