Shit, another puzzle game where the promise of anime tiddies is the only thing keeping me from closing the tab. I got this one on some dodgy site with VIP slapped all over it, like that means anything. You pick between this blonde, a brunette, a redhead. Standard stuff. The logic part, ha, they warn you it's not easy. That's a lie wrapped in a truth, my friend. It's a jigsaw. With rotating pieces. On a 90s website interface. My wrist hurts just thinking about it.

The real human tag makes me laugh. Real human what? The model they used for the drawing? Because these anime girls look like they walked out of a bootleg visual novel, all shiny and disproportionate. But here's the thing. Around piece 48 of the redhead's stupidly complex bikini strap, you start to develop a relationship with the image. You're mad at the shadow by her collarbone. It's a bullshit piece of grey that could be anywhere. Just when you think you're done, there's this one edge piece you missed that you swore was part of her hair. Nearly threw my phone at the wall. Not being dramatic, that really happened, thanks Xiaomi for the cracked screen protector.

After all that swearing and squinting, the picture finishes. And yeah. It's explicit. No artsy fade to black, just full on, legs spread, ahegao face stuff. Exactly what you'd see on the front page of a site that would give your PC digital herpes. It's hot in a greasy, desperate way. Like fast food at 2 AM, you know? You hate yourself a little, you're not proud, but the mechanic of the game, that slow stupid reveal, it actually makes the final static image hit different. Like you earned the right to be a degenerate. Then I picked the blonde one right after, chasing that same pathetic dopamine hit. The puzzle layout was different but just as annoying when it came to the background gradient around her thigh.