Alright, let's get one thing straight. This game has a sexy devil and a sexy angel, and they're fighting. Over what? Who knows. Who cares. The real enemy here is the physics. Or maybe the color palette. The blonde angel is on the left, the brunette devil is on the right, and you've got this little paddle in the middle that feels about as responsive as a brick on a frozen lake. The whole point is to sort these colored balls to the correct side, like some kind of horny mailroom clerk.

The first few levels are a cakewalk. You're feeling yourself, thinking you're a god of Arcanoid. Then the game just decides to stop being polite. It starts vomiting balls from both sides, and suddenly you're not a pervert enjoying a lewd scene, you're an air traffic controller having a stroke. I spent way too long on level four, just trying to flick a single stubborn blue ball past the paddle without letting a red one sneak through. My mouse hand cramped up. Not from the expected reason, just pure, unadulterated gamer rage.

The art is... there. It's a specific kind of unpolished that you either find charming or you don't. The characters just sort of stand there, jiggling slightly, like they're waiting for a bus. There's no big payoff animation that I could unlock, which is a goddamn tragedy. You're telling me I perfected my paddle technique for a static image? The sound design is non-existent, so I just played the Angel Beats! opening on a loop in another tab to set the mood. It didn't help. Honestly, the whole thing feels like a fever dream I had after scrolling through a forgotten corner of Newgrounds. I think I saw a meme about this once, the one with the distracted boyfriend, but the boyfriend is my attention span and the new girl is the other tab I opened mid-game.