The whole thing runs on a single loop, right. Tsunade’s mouth goes up and down and you click to change the speed or whatever. The art is that specific era of Flash where everything looks like it was traced from a screencap and then someone went wild with the airbrush tool on her tits. Her eyes are these big dead pools of nothing. It’s perfect.

I keep thinking about the cumshot toggle. You got three endings basically. Swallow, facial, or this weird in between where it just sort of vanishes. The swallow one has this little gulping sound effect that’s way too loud compared to the slurping. Scared my cat. The facial mode, Dan’s dick just teleports out of her mouth and there’s a splatter that looks more like someone threw a yogurt cup at the screen. I wish there was a fourth option where she just gets up and leaves. That would be the real Naruto experience, the emotional damage.

The deepthroat mechanic is holding down the mouse button. Her neck doesn’t bulge or anything, she just slides down further and the gagging noise loops faster. It’s so mechanical it loops back around to being hypnotic. Like watching a screensaver. I zoned out for a solid minute just holding the button, thinking about how Dan is a dead man walking in this forest. He’s getting his soul sucked out and he doesn’t even know a rock is gonna crush him later. That’s the narrative tension here. Not the sex. The impending doom. The game doesn’t bring it up again after the title card but it’s all I could think about. She’s going feral on this ghost’s cock and the leaves are just rustling. No ninjas. No war. Just a blonde woman and a future corpse and a badly looped audio track of wet noises. It’s not good. I’ve played it seven times.