what fresh hell is this pixelated nightmare. you wander around a forest full of dudes who want to rearrange your guts and honestly the controls feel like you're piloting a shopping cart with a wonky wheel. arrow keys to move space to shoot. okay. simple enough for my single brain cell to handle but then the space bar starts sticking or something and suddenly there's a sprite with a gigantic pixel schlong doing things to the player character that i cannot unsee. the animation is so jank it circles back to being hypnotic. like watching a car crash made of crayon drawings.

the hitboxes are a cruel joke invented by someone who hates joy. i swear i shot that one guy in the neon pink shorts three times but no. the game decided nah you missed and now there's a loop of what i can only describe as aggressive interpretive dancing. the soundtrack is two second loops of what might be a microwave beeping which honestly adds to the panic. i screamed at my monitor and my cat left the room. 10/10 would lose my dignity again.

there's this one bush on the left side of the screen. been thinking about it a lot. it's just three green lumps but it hides nothing. absolutely nothing. i spent a full run just humping that bush with my back to the wall because it seemed safe and the gays just spawned on top of me anyway. i don't know what i expected.

the whole thing feels like a fever dream you'd have after scrolling discord at 4am when the memes get too specific. dare you to play it with the volume all the way up in a public library. the shame will wash over you like a warm bath.