The whole thing is a quiz about celebrity boobs and honestly I don't know why I keep coming back to it. You get a picture of some famous woman, usually from like 2005, and three size options. Is it C, D, or DD? The game says there's a hundred of them. Carmen Electra, Britney, Pam Anderson. The pictures are so compressed they look like they were downloaded on a dial up modem and then reuploaded seventeen times. There's this one shot of Elisha Cuthbert that's so pixelated her face is just a smear of beige but I still got the answer wrong and it made me genuinely angry for a second.

The funny tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting here because the whole experience is absurd. You're not even seeing anything good, just these grainy red carpet photos where you're squinting at a chest going "is that a C cup or am I just bad at this." The game keeps score and I'm sitting there with like 34 out of 100 feeling personally attacked by a browser game from probably 2008. There's no animation, no nudity really, just this weird trivia format that feels like something a creepy guy at a party would quiz you on except now it's gamified and I'm the one voluntarily playing it.

The sound doesn't exist. No music, no effects, just the quiet shame of clicking "DD" for Cameron Diaz and hearing the wrong answer buzz in my own head. I don't know what the right answers actually are because the game doesn't tell you after you fail, it just moves on to the next blurry jpeg. I spent way too long on one photo of some actress I didn't recognize trying to determine if the shadow under her collarbone indicated a B cup or if the angle was just bad. This is not a review anymore it's a confession. The game has no ending as far as I can tell, just keeps cycling through celebrities until you close the tab and question your life choices.