Power, tits and dragons, in that order. Whores of Thrones takes the whole Seven Kingdoms mess and asks a very simple question: what if everyone stopped pretending they have honor and just started fucking for it instead. You’re dropped into this twisted court drama where every “deal” is half politics, half who is on their knees, and it leans hard into that. One scene you’re whispering dirty orders in a candlelit sept, next scene you’re watching a proud knight get milked by a monster he tried to stab. The story does that slow corruption thing: characters start with some fake moral line, then a bit of blackmail here, a “do this or I ruin your house” there, and suddenly they are naked in public, on their knees, kissing boots, begging for more. It doesn’t rush it, which I kinda loved and also kinda hated when I wanted to just go straight to hardcore. Sometimes you’ll pick a choice and think “ok soft scene now” and the game responds with anal, a collar, and a smug priest watching. Not complaining, just surprised. Often.

Fan service is insane. Sansa, Arya, Daenerys, Cersei, all twisted versions of themselves, each pushed into their own flavor of kink. There is this one path where your male character gets to break the noble “ice princess” step by step, starting with just making her show her feet, then kissing them, then using them on your cock like it’s nothing, until she goes from disgusted to needy. Long scene, very slow, and honestly the footjob animation and expressions are way better than they should be for a porn parody. Then you flip to another route and you’re playing a girl instead, suddenly on the other side of the leash, teasing another woman, riding her face and using toys on her while you promise to protect her family if she just obeys. Lesbian stuff hits different here, because they make it half affection, half “I own you now”. You can feel the writers grinning when they script a holy woman forced into exhibitionism in front of her own followers, or when a dragon queen ends up bent over a balcony, pretending she cares about the city while you’re just pounding her and talking about who she has to marry next. There’s vanilla pussy grinding right next to anal punishment, incest whispers in the background mixed with religious guilt, some brutal female domination scenes, gay side paths that go from awkward to “oh shit this is rough” in two clicks. It goes from funny parody to “damn, that’s filthy” really fast. And yeah, you can play it on your phone, which is a blessing until you realize you just opened a scene with a chained noble girl licking a boot and a dildo in the middle of your train ride, and now you can’t look anyone in the eye.

Alright so this game caught me off guard in the weirdest way possible. Started playing because honestly the premise sounded pretty basic - some MILF shows up at your door and you're supposed to seduce her or whatever. But then it gets all conspiracy theory on you? Like one minute you're trying to figure out how to get this busty woman out of her clothes, next minute there's some secret organization pulling strings behind everything. The tonal shift is so jarring it's almost funny.

The point and click mechanics work fine I guess, though sometimes clicking on objects feels random as hell. You collect these items that unlock new scenes but the game never really explains what you're supposed to be looking for. Found myself clicking everything like a maniac just hoping something would trigger. The animated scenes are decent enough - nothing groundbreaking but they get the job done. Big tits, big ass, all the usual suspects are there doing their thing. The oral and anal scenes have some nice variety to them, and the vaginal stuff doesn't feel too repetitive which is more than I can say for most games in this genre.

What really threw me was how the story tries to be more than just "fuck the MILF next door." There's actually plot happening between all the teasing and sex scenes, which feels weird but also kind of refreshing? The whole secret organization angle comes out of nowhere though - like the developers couldn't decide if they wanted to make a simple porn game or some kind of adult thriller. The customizable names and relationships thing is whatever, most people probably just leave it as default anyway. Still haven't figured out what half the items I've collected actually do, but the scenes keep unlocking so I'm not complaining too much. Game's unpolished as fuck but there's something charming about how it doesn't take itself too seriously while still trying to have an actual story.

Money screwups usually just hurt for a while, then fade. Here it feels like the universe stored your mistake, fattened it up, and then threw it back in your face with a winning lottery ticket stapled on top. You start out as this guy who once torched his whole life with one stupid financial decision, and now suddenly you’re stupid rich and everyone around you is suddenly very, very interested in how generous you feel. Especially your best friend, the one you spent half your teen years jerking off over while pretending you were “just buddies”. She’s broke, desperate, still pretending everything is fine, and you’re sitting there with more zeros in your account than brain cells, trying to decide if you want to be a hero, or the villain hentai warned us about and we didn’t listen.

The game loves to push you into these morally gross little corners. You can play the sweet guy route, all romance and slow-build teasing, or you can look at your long-time crush and think, “yeah, you’re gonna pay me back, but not with money.” Blackmail rolls in not as some cartoon evil thing, more like “ok, sign this, or I tell your boss what you did.” Then suddenly she’s on her knees, giving you sloppy oral while trying not to cry, and the worst part is the game makes you enjoy it and hate yourself at the same time. I liked that. I also hated it. There’s this one scene where you help cover her rent, and a few choices later she’s on your couch, half drunk, putting her feet in your lap, wiggling her toes in that “I know what I’m doing, but I’ll act innocent” way. Turn that into a footjob if you’re a degenerate like me, or pretend you’re above it and fail as a human being. The corruption is not instant; it creeps. One moment she’s just thanking you, later she’s letting you spank her bare ass as “punishment” for missing a payment, whispering that it hurts while clearly pushing herself back into your hand.

Sex scenes go from cute and clumsy to “oh wow, I’m actually a bastard” real fast. You can keep things romantic, kissing her slow, sliding into good old vaginal sex while she tells you she’s glad it’s you. Or you go full male domination and treat her like your personal debt toy, making her choke on your cock before you decide whether to finish in her mouth, her pussy, or even her ass because she signed a really stupid contract you wrote at 3% sanity. There’s anal, creampies, rough spanking, those messed up moments where she says “no, that’s too much” and you can actually stop, or just push anyway and lean harder into corruption. Some paths feel like a wholesome dating sim that just happens to have fucking, others are basically a slow, teasing descent into “friend in need becomes plaything in need” territory. The best part is how small choices stack up: a little teasing here, a slightly pushy favor there, suddenly she’s kneeling between your legs every time she visits, calling it “our little arrangement.” I wish the game didn’t make that so hot. I also really wish it did.

This thing is messy in a way I kinda respect. You get tossed into this warped fantasy world where reality has given up, and apparently the local wildlife has tits, claws, and a very specific interest in human cock. The story talks in first person, so it feels like your horny inner monologue got kicked out of Earth and landed in a fever dream. One minute you’re getting smacked around in some turn based fight, the next minute you’ve got a monster girl pressed against a tree while you’re deciding if you want her whining from teasing, moaning around your dick, or riding you until she leaks cum everywhere. It flips from “oh no, danger” to “oh yes, fuck me harder” faster than my mood when Grindr crashes.

The whole thing is like running a very perverted HR department in hell. You manage your little crew, you juggle resources, you worry about who’s loyal, who’s useful in combat, and who’s just there because they let you grope them whenever you’re stressed. There’s romance, but it’s that fucked up sort, with girls who will absolutely let you creampie them behind a ruined shrine, then ask if you still like them when they’re pregnant with your half-cursed brat. Some scenes are soft and sweet, like slow oral where she’s shy and drooling, or gentle handjobs while she confesses feelings. Then five minutes later you’re shoving her face against a table, spanking her ass red while she tries to keep quiet and completely fails. The writing tries to be poetic sometimes, like it wants to win a prize, and then it goes straight into “her asshole clenched around me” without any shame at all. Honestly I love it. And also I rolled my eyes. Both things true.

Combat is that chill turn based style where you’re half reading the skills, half daydreaming about the next time some exhibitionist demoness gets pinned against a wall. Some fights actually matter and you’ll be min-maxing like a weirdo, other times you just mash buttons because you only care about seeing how much milk that busty priestess can spray when you pull her top down mid-dialogue. The game keeps throwing choices at you too: do you comfort her, or do you grab her tits; do you swear devotion, or fuck her raw in public while the shadows watch. Management and romance and adventure all tangled up in this slightly unhinged, emotional dude-brain that gets way too attached to monster girls he just met. I was reading on my phone in the bathroom, lost in some deep talk about devotion and despair, and two clicks later I had her swallowing my load and begging to carry my child. It should not work. It really should not. But here I am, remembering which route gave me anal, lactation, spanking, and a love confession in the same arc like it’s important info for my taxes.