Stripper Pick-Up
This thing is like someone took a joke from 2006 and forgot to add the punchline. You got this drunk loser in a strip club, right, and he needs cash. Groundbreaking. The whole game is basically clicking around to find money so you can see some blonde with tits bigger than her head do a dance. The art looks like it was drawn by a teenager who just discovered what boobs are and traced them from a bad magazine. The sex scenes, if you can call them that, are stiff as hell. Like two mannequins rubbing together while someone shakes the table. The rough sex tag is a lie, it's more like clumsy fumbling.
I spent more time trying to figure out the stupid minigame for getting cash than anything else. You click on a wallet or some shit and it's supposed to be a challenge but it's just tedious. The hard sex tag is there I guess because the animations are so rigid it looks painful. There's a moment with a sex toy that just appears out of nowhere, no logic, just a purple dildo materializing because the plot demanded it. The whole thing feels like a flash game from Newgrounds that got rejected for being too boring. The dialogue is pure cringe, like "oh baby you so hot" level writing. My brain cells were committing suicide one by one.
The big tits are there, sure, if that's your entire personality. They just sit there like two overfilled water balloons. No physics, no life. The strip club setting is one room that looks like a grey box with some neon lines drawn on. I've seen more atmosphere in a public toilet. The hero's problem of being drunk is solved by just clicking more, which is a metaphor for something but I don't care what. This isn't a game, it's a cry for help. The replay value is the same as rewatching a car crash, you don't want to but you're stunned by how bad it is. The whole experience is like ordering a steak and getting a picture of a cow drawn in crayon.
I spent more time trying to figure out the stupid minigame for getting cash than anything else. You click on a wallet or some shit and it's supposed to be a challenge but it's just tedious. The hard sex tag is there I guess because the animations are so rigid it looks painful. There's a moment with a sex toy that just appears out of nowhere, no logic, just a purple dildo materializing because the plot demanded it. The whole thing feels like a flash game from Newgrounds that got rejected for being too boring. The dialogue is pure cringe, like "oh baby you so hot" level writing. My brain cells were committing suicide one by one.
The big tits are there, sure, if that's your entire personality. They just sit there like two overfilled water balloons. No physics, no life. The strip club setting is one room that looks like a grey box with some neon lines drawn on. I've seen more atmosphere in a public toilet. The hero's problem of being drunk is solved by just clicking more, which is a metaphor for something but I don't care what. This isn't a game, it's a cry for help. The replay value is the same as rewatching a car crash, you don't want to but you're stunned by how bad it is. The whole experience is like ordering a steak and getting a picture of a cow drawn in crayon.
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Lust Goddess
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Play the #1 hottest sex game on the planet. Why wait? It is free!
Play the #1 hottest sex game on the planet. Why wait? It is free!
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That's all we got, try searching for Blon Hentai Videos instead?