The “Lucky Guy” award for most misleading title goes to this rpg maker thing right here. Lucky? I am running errands for Quagmire. Glenn Quagmire. That is my job. He sends me to spy on Lois doing yoga in her living room, which is a scene that takes about seven clicks to get through while a midi version of something that is definitely not the Family Guy theme plays. I don't feel lucky. I feel like a digital pervert with a clipboard.

The art is... there. Meg looks like she was drawn from a particularly cruel memory, which I guess is on brand. But then Bonnie Swanson appears and her portrait has this dead eyed stare that made me think my browser had frozen. It hadn't. She was just looking at me. I clicked through a dialogue tree with Jillian where I had to choose between complimenting her hair or her... other assets, and picking the wrong one just looped the conversation back like a punishment. A small, horny, time loop. I wish there was a button to just slap Quagmire and take his car keys, but this is not that kind of game.

It's a visual novel where you click and sometimes see a static image of a character from a show you used to watch in college. The whole thing feels like a weirdly specific dream after falling asleep on a couch that smells faintly of beer. The redhead tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting for Lois. There's no game over, just an endless, flat plane of mildly titillating fetch quests. I kept playing though. Not because it was good, but because I had to see if Bonnie would ever blink. She didn't. The replayability is for people who find comfort in the uncanny valley of a copyrighted sitcom neighborhood. I am one of those people. I will not be returning. Probably.