The music, right. That's what I'm supposed to talk about. There's this one synth line in the first scene, when Deedlit's just waking up in that damp stone room. It wobbles. Like a drunk cassette tape from the 80s, this queasy pitch-bend that somehow makes the whole thing feel dirtier than the actual visuals. The track is called "Shadow Corridor" or something equally on-the-nose, and it loops every 45 seconds. I counted. You'll be hearing that same wobbly synth for the entire gang bang sequence, which is basically the whole game. By the third guy, I was humming along. Not in a good way.

The sound effects are where things get genuinely unhinged. The slapping noises during the doggystyle segment sound like someone rhythmically punching a wet ham. And the voice acting, what little there is, keeps cutting out mid-moan. Deedlit's Japanese VA will be crying out and then just... silence. Like the game forgot what it was doing. Which it probably did. The blowjob scene has this bizarre glitch where the audio of her choking syncs up perfectly with a background lute melody from the "village theme" that accidentally plays over it. A happy little accident that made me laugh out loud, which I don't think was the intended reaction for an elf getting facial abuse. There's a moment where two guys finish at the same time and the game just plays the same squelch sound file twice, a millisecond apart. It sounds like a sneeze.

I wish they'd leaned harder into the Lodoss source material's actual soundtrack. The original OVA had these gorgeous Celtic-inspired themes. Imagine that noble, tragic music playing while Deedlit gets passed around. A real missed opportunity for some emotional whiplash. Instead we get royalty-free dungeon synth that sounds like it was downloaded from a GeoCities page in 2002. The creampie finale has this triumphant horn stab that I swear is from a public domain fanfare collection. It's so out of place it circles back to being art. I'll never hear trumpets the same way again.

Kashue's balls really do hang like a pair of war medals, don't they. That's the first thing that hits you when Deedlit gets on her knees. Not literally, obviously, but the way they draw him, all confidence and that massive cock, it's a statement. Parn is off somewhere picking flowers, the romantic little shit, and this game just cuts straight to what we all knew was happening in those "secret chapters." The animation for the blowjob is surprisingly smooth for something that feels like it was coded in a basement between shifts. Her tongue work, the way her cheeks hollow. It's not just a loop, there's a build to it, a sloppiness that gets more intense. I kept waiting for a button to make her gag but there isn't one. That's a miss.

Then the bed scene. Doggystyle, obviously, because this is a game that knows its audience. The creampie finish is the whole point, the reward. The physics on her tits are a bit floaty, like they're filled with helium instead of just being big, soft elf tits. It's a small thing but it kept distracting me. I was supposed to be focused on Kashue's rhythm, the way he grabs her blonde hair, but instead I'm thinking about buoyancy. The sound design is just wet slaps and her moans, which are fine, but they loop a bit too obviously. After the third "ah, Kashue-sama!" it loses some punch.

I don't know what I expected from a Record of Lodoss War porn parody. Maybe more war? The description says it's the only thing true warriors have during a war, but it's just a bedroom. A nicely drawn bedroom, sure, but where's the siege outside the window? A little goblin peeking in would have added some stakes. The whole thing is Deedlit turning hentai for a real man with a big pair, and it delivers that. Parn gets cucked, Kashue gets his dick worshipped, and you get a creampie. It's functional. I closed the tab after and immediately forgot the music, but I remember the way her spine arched. That's probably the point.