The whole thing feels like someone animated it on a Nokia during a particularly horny lunch break. Dirty Ernie, that's the name, and it's this flash game where the art looks like a child's drawing if the child had a very specific medical fetish. The first scene that actually got me was Buck, this lumpy guy with a permanent shit eating grin, "helping" Nursie train. She's bent over a hospital bed that's just three grey lines, and the animation is this frantic, two frame loop of him slamming into her from behind. Her uniform, which is basically body paint at this point, doesn't even come off. It just stretches. The sound design is a crime against humanity, just wet slaps and a looping moan that sounds like a dial-up modem having an orgasm. Pure art.

Gameplay wise, it's a broken mess held together with tape and bad intentions. There's a bug right at the start where you have to right click and hit "forward" then "play" to get past a text box. If you don't know that, the game is just a still image of a sign. I spent ten minutes clicking on a nurse's tits before I figured it out. The whole plot is this competition between Nursie and Heavy Flo, who's just Nursie but with bigger hair and a perpetually unimpressed expression. Heavy Flo trains by herself with a dildo that materializes out of thin air, which feels like a missed opportunity for a scene. The actual contest is a blowjob showdown, and the winner is some random third nurse who comes out of nowhere with a vacuum cleaner technique that defies physics. The cumshot is just a white circle that expands and then vanishes. I wish they'd put that effort into making the main characters' mouths move, but they won't.

The whole thing has this grimy, unpolished energy that's almost charming. Like finding a sticky porno mag in a dumpster behind a clinic. The doctor girlfriend tag is a lie, she's just a portrait in the background. I kept waiting for her to show up and join in, maybe get jealous of the head nurse, but no. Just a picture. The uniforms are the best part, that classic white dress and cap combo that stays on no matter what. It's a very specific flavor of broken, and honestly, I've favorited worse on Newgrounds back in the day. The competition ending is so abrupt it feels like the creator just got bored and hit render.