I collect physical merch, right. Got a shelf with a Bayonetta figure, the one with the ridiculous proportions and the glasses. So when I saw this, I thought, yeah, that tracks. The whole thing is deliberately crusty, like a flash animation that got left in a crypt for a decade. The zombies aren't even proper Frankenstein monsters, more like green blobs with stitches drawn on in MS Paint. One of them has a bolt that clips through his own head when he thrusts. It's perfect.

The setup is Bayonetta and Jeanne, I think? Hard to tell because the art style is what I'd call aggressively unpolished. They find these two ugly bastards and just... go for it. No pretense. The click to advance mechanic is basically just a cumshot button. You tap the screen and it cycles through angles of double anal creampie. The sound design is what gets me. It's just stock squelching noises, the kind you'd find in a free sound effects pack from 2006. I swear I heard the same sfx in a Newgrounds hentai game about a tentacle plant.

The big boobs physics are non-existent. They just sort of vibrate in place. Bayonetta's slut face is more of a vaguely surprised expression, like she just remembered she left the oven on. But the core loop, if you can call it that, is hypnotic. Click, squelch, cumshot. Click, squelch, cumshot. I found myself zoning out, just tapping away while thinking about how my Bayonetta amiibo is still in its box. This is the opposite of that. This is raw, unfiltered id.

There's a moment where the cum overlay doesn't quite line up with her face and it just floats there, a disembodied mess. I complained to no one in particular about the lack of a gallery mode. Then I realized I'd been clicking for ten minutes straight. The anal penetration is graphic but in a clinical, almost detached way. It's not sexy, it's fascinating. Like watching a nature documentary about a species you didn't know existed. The Halloween tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting, basically just the green skin on the dudes. I don't know what I expected. Actually, I do. This. I expected exactly this.