The whole thing is basically a slider and a picture. You push the beer count up, one by one, and the woman on screen changes. Starts with what the game calls an ugly woman, which is just a crude drawing of someone frowning with bad hair. By beer seven she’s got bigger tits and a smile. By beer twelve the clothes are gone and she’s doing this weird pose with her back arched. The joke is supposed to be beer goggles, right, but the art never gets good. It gets more explicit but never actually hot. The naked version has these balloon boobs that don’t sit right on her chest, like they were pasted on in MS Paint. There’s a muscled guy mode too, same deal, you pour drinks until he transforms from a skinny dweeb into a shredded dude with a cock that just appears out of nowhere around beer nine.

I spent way too long trying to figure out the exact threshold where the nipples show up. It’s beer eight. Beer eight is the magic number for nipples. After that it’s just more of the same, the image doesn’t change much except her mouth opens wider. The humor is supposed to carry it, I guess, this whole “miracles of alcohol” thing, but the joke lands once and then you’re just clicking a plus button watching a static image morph slightly. The hot chick tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. She’s not hot. She’s a collection of circles with a bad tan.

There’s no ending. You just max out at some number, I forget, twenty maybe, and the picture stops changing. You sit there with a fully naked cartoon person and a counter that doesn’t go higher. The beer mechanic doesn’t tie into anything else, no dialogue, no reaction from the character, just the visual shift. It’s like a flipbook made by someone who heard about sex but never had it. The muscled guy’s transformation is actually funnier because his head stays the same while his body inflates, but again, once you’ve seen the dick appear there’s nothing left to do. I closed the tab and my browser history looked sad.