You know those browser games your coworker thinks you don't see him tab to during the afternoon slump? The ones with the suspiciously specific titles. This one's called something like "Schoolgirl Pissing Record" or whatever, the actual JP romanization is probably some five word mouthful. I kept the volume at like 4%. The actual visuals look like they escaped from a 2005 Flash portal, you know the ones, where the artist really focused on one specific anatomical shading technique and just sort of gave up on the hands. The uniform is less seifuku and more a vague navy blue suggestion around a body.

The core loop here is a literal pissing contest. A very shamed looking girl, who is allegedly a teen but drawn with that generic ageless hentai face, stands there. First you "talk" which means clicking a button until a text box fills with barely translated encouragement. Then she shucks off her pink panties, and there's the main event, a really detailed, hairy pussy that feels like it got 90% of the art budget's polygon allowance. You click and hold on it. The mechanic is a power meter, hidden of course, you just watch the stream. Holding too long makes it a weak dribble down her thighs, just a few sad drops on the tiles. The sound effect is hilariously loud, a garden hose on concrete. Let go at the right second and she arches her back and launches a golden arc that makes the screen scroll, breaking some arbitrary pixel distance record. The shame expression is constant, a fixed blush over the nose.

I spent maybe ten minutes trying to beat my own score. It's not a complex thing. There's no animation for missing entirely really, just a smaller puddle. The background is just a locker room if you squint. I used to think this kind of weirdly specific fetish game was purely for shock, but browsing itch.io's underbelly shows it's a whole genre. People really love a quantified bodily function. Makes me wonder if there's a leaderboard site out there integrating with these ancient Flash loops through some awful web 3.0 crypto plug in. Anyway the tab's frozen now. Back to the spreadsheet.