That moment when you finally get Misty’s top off and the expression sliders kick in? Yeah. That’s the stuff. The whole thing is a bare bones Pokemon parody, we all know the drill by now. You’re not catching ‘em all, you’re just catching one redhead and the entire gameplay loop is a series of toggle switches for her face and body. It’s less a game and more a stress test for your mouse’s scroll wheel.

The customization isn’t deep but it’s weirdly specific. You can cycle through different eye shapes, like that “pleading” look which is just chef’s kiss, and swap out a hair accessory. A little monster cap, a bow. I spent a solid minute just flicking between a smug grin and an ahegao face. The pacing is like eating a whole bag of chips, you don’t realize how much you’ve consumed until the bag is empty and you’re left staring at a static image of a satisfied cartoon character. The actual monster cock is just there. It’s a prop. It appears and Misty does her thing and you click to change the tempo, I think. I got distracted by the way her hair clips through her shoulder. Nobody fixed that. It’s so blatant it loops back around to being part of the aesthetic.

My favorite part is the utterly dead eyed default expression she has before you start clicking. It’s like she’s staring directly through the screen at a very boring spreadsheet. Then you nudge a slider and suddenly she’s in the moment. The whole project has that feel of a sketch someone banged out in a fever dream after playing FireRed on a jailbroken phone. If you need a deep narrative, this is a desert. But if you want a fidget toy that eventually shows you a very specific niche of pocket monster anatomy, the algorithm served you correctly. I guess a completionist who hates themselves would try to map every combination of accessory and expression. That’s a rainy afternoon project for a very specific kind of degenerate. The lack of any sound is jarring. You just hear your own breathing and the click of the mouse. It becomes almost meditative. Or pathetic. Depends on the angle of the light.