ok so the loading screen is just a black void with a janky pixel font that says "Loading..." and i thought my browser died. classic. then bam, you're some dude who got isekai'd by truck-kun, except it's a goddess with a mission and now you're in a post-Boruto world where everyone's... well, legal, i guess. the whole thing runs on this weird sandbox clock system where you click around konoha and time passes, but honestly i just kept spamming the training grounds to see tenten's new outfit. the turn based combat is there, i think? you pick a move and numbers happen, but the real game is the stripping mini-game that triggers randomly. it's like a gacha pull but with clothes.

speaking of, the animation for ino's scene caught me off guard. it's that choppy 2dcg style where things slide and loop, but the sound design is just wet slaps and a looping moan that sounds like a broken mp3 from limewire. there's a moment where orochimaru shows up as a voyeur in the background of a scene with sarada and i just... why is he always there? the male protagonist is a blank slate, literally no face, just a floating dick sometimes. the fantasy setting means tentacle monsters are just a tuesday, and there's this one scene with hinata and a monster girl that uses like three different penetration angles at once. ambitious.

the sandbox part lets you grind for "affection" which is really just a bar that fills up until the next sex scene unlocks. got a footjob from ayame the ramen girl and the dialogue was something like "here is your special order, sir." no irony, no wink. just delivered like a pizza. the big tits tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting here, every female character from sakura to karin has the same gravity-defying balloon physics. yuna uchiha is in this? i think she's an OC? she gave me a titfuck that clipped through the wall geometry. 10/10 would clip again. the whole thing feels like a fever dream i had after eating too much expired pocky and watching amv hell. there's a creampie counter. it just goes up. no reward, no achievement. just a number. i respect that.