The wallet thing. That's what gets me. You're playing blackjack, right, standard stuff, hit or stand, and this blonde secretary is just... there. Not doing much at first. But the game calls it a wallet and every time you win a hand it fills up with these little coin icons. And when it's full? She takes something off. It's so stupidly direct I can't stop clicking.

The model is one of those real model types, not drawn, and she's got this slightly bored expression like she's waiting for a meeting to end. The arcade part is just the card game, no fancy animations, the cards flip with a delay that feels like dial-up internet. Sometimes the hit button doesn't register if you click too fast and you bust because the game is still thinking about the last card. Infuriating. But then she unbuttons her blouse and I forget why I was annoyed. The strip sequences are just short video loops, grainy, probably filmed on a phone from 2015. There's a shopping tag but I never found a shop. Maybe the wallet is the shopping? You're collecting money to... buy her clothes off? The logic breaks if you think about it.

The striptease is the whole point obviously. She goes from pencil skirt and glasses to nothing in like five stages. The final loop she's just standing there, hands on hips, and the blackjack table is still there in the background. You can keep playing. For more wallet coins that do nothing. I played three more hands just to see if there was a secret sixth stage. There isn't. The cards don't shuffle right either, I got blackjack four times in a row once which statistically makes no sense but whatever, the game's not here for math. It's here for a blonde taking her bra off while you pretend to care about face cards.