I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.

This Resident Evil parody throws you straight into Lady Dimitrescu's castle, and honestly? The devs knew exactly what they were doing. You're playing some poor bastard who's gotta survive Alcina's "trial" - which basically means getting dominated by a nine-foot vampire mommy and her equally stacked daughters. The turn-based combat system feels clunky at first, like they copy-pasted it from some RPG maker tutorial, but once you realize the real gameplay is about managing your stamina while getting your face buried in supernatural cleavage, it starts making sense. There's this one scene where Dimitrescu pins you against the wall and the camera angle is just... chef's kiss. The 3DCG models look decent enough, though Lady D's proportions are so exaggerated she looks like she'd topple over in real life.

Combat encounters blend into these weird BDSM scenarios where losing actually feels like winning. You'll find yourself deliberately failing just to see what creative punishment awaits. The spanking animations have more effort put into them than the actual sword fighting mechanics, which tells you where the priorities were. Sandbox elements let you explore the castle freely, groping your way through dark corridors while avoiding or seeking out the various monster girls lurking around. Some of the dialogue during sex scenes made me laugh out loud - not sure if that was intentional. The ahegao faces during climax moments are over-the-top ridiculous but somehow work within this campy horror-porn aesthetic.

What really caught me off guard was how they handled the size difference fetish stuff. Tall vs short dynamics play out in every interaction, from handjobs where your character can barely reach to titfuck scenes that look physically impossible. The harem aspect kicks in later when you're juggling multiple supernatural ladies, each with their own domination preferences. Voice acting ranges from surprisingly good to hilariously bad, but the moaning sounds authentic enough. Fair warning though - the grinding gets repetitive and some animations loop awkwardly.

Kislev looks normal at first glance. Streetlights, cheap shops, that one park bench where everyone pretends not to stare at each other. Then you notice how empty it feels, like the city is holding its breath. Officials keep saying “just a weird cold, nothing serious,” while half the people you meet have this strange tired look in their eyes and the other half are just horny as fuck and pretending nothing is wrong. You play this dude who goes “yeah, I’m out, I’m leaving the city until shit calms down,” but of course he’s late, like every protagonist with a big ego and a bigger cock. And somehow running away turns into drifting deeper into this mess of sex, money, and that quiet fear that maybe tomorrow you won’t wake up at all. Or worse, you will.

The whole thing feels like a fantasy about the end of the world where everyone deals with panic by getting freaky. You’re out there sweet talking thick women with soft bellies and massive tits spilling out of bras that never quite fit. There’s something really nice about how the chubby girls are treated, actually. They’re not a joke, not “before the glow up,” they’re just hot. Big asses, big boobs, big everything, and the camera really takes its time. You’re flirting, buying them shiny crap like cars and jewelry, acting like some budget sugar daddy, and half the time you know it’s stupid but it works, so you keep doing it. One milf leans over your new car, huge tits pressed against the window while she asks you if the seats are comfy enough to “test suspension.” And yeah, you say something smooth. Or you try. I misclicked the dialogue, told her something lame, and she still ended up palming my dick through my pants, super slow, teasing like she has all the time in the world even though the city might be dying around us. That scene actually made me pause Spotify because I wanted to hear every tiny sound. Then I put Spotify back, because I’m an idiot.

I like how the MC’s cock is treated like an actual presence. When a thick girl wraps her soft fingers around it for a lazy handjob, the visual really sells the weight, the size, the way her cheeks flush like “fuck, I didn’t expect it this big.” There’s a moment where a bbw presses your shaft between her heavy tits, and you can practically feel the warmth off the screen. It’s detailed, but sometimes weirdly clumsy, like the dev spent 3 days on the curve of a nipple and 3 minutes on the background. Also whoever designed the jewelry shop UI clearly hates humans, I swear one button is half a pixel off and it still annoys me. The game likes to tease too much sometimes: lots of grinding, lots of “almost” scenes before you finally get release, but when you do, it’s thick, messy, and right in her face or over her giant chest, and she looks proud like she just survived the apocalypse by taking your load. The virus, the panic, the lies from the authorities, it all just becomes this excuse for everyone to live harder, fuck louder, and pretend choices still matter. They probably don’t, but you keep clicking like they do.

Yui looks like the kind of wife you only see on Reddit threads that are clearly fake. Super sweet, big soft ass that keeps stealing camera focus, totally loyal, obsessed with her wedding dress job and also with you. The game really leans into that. Early on you’re just vibing in your tiny apartment, she’s measuring lace, you’re scrolling on your phone like a useless husband, and it actually feels boring in a nice way. That boring feeling is important, because when the corruption starts it hits harder. One moment she’s talking about veil fabrics, next moment her phone lights up with “Kuroda” and the whole mood drops like your battery at 5% with no charger. I liked that shift. Felt a bit too real. I literally paused the game to check Telegram while she was panicking, lol.

Kuroda is such a walking red flag that if he was on Tinder the app would soft‑ban him. Drug mess, manipulative, and the story keeps pretending “he’s still family” like that fixes anything. Watching Yui try to defend him is painful and hot at the same time, which makes me sound terrible, but here we are. The corruption is mostly emotional at first. Small lies. Late returns home. Her eyes looking away a little too quick. There is this one scene where she comes back from “helping him” and she’s still in her nice dress, but her lipstick is smudged just enough. Not obvious, but if you ever used Google Photos zoom you can’t unsee it. You can choose to confront her or act like a doormat. I tried both. Honestly, neither path makes you feel like a hero. Which is good. Or bad. Depends on how much you enjoy self‑insert suffering. There is romance mixed in, not some flowers and chocolate thing, more like those quiet moments when she sits on your lap, apologizing, and you know she’s hiding shit, yet you still grab her hips because that ass is ridiculous. The humiliation is slow burn: tiny cracks in trust, neighbors maybe hearing things through the wall, your line messages left on “read” while she “works late”. Sex scenes reward you, but they also kind of punish you. When the AI art goes extra on her curves while the text reminds you she might have been touched by someone else half an hour ago, your dick and your ethics go into open conflict.

On phone it runs smooth enough, though the UI sometimes hides buttons behind my stupid fat thumb and I got stuck in a menu once and rage‑tapped like an idiot. The simulator feeling comes from all the routine: chat logs, little money choices, scheduling when she visits Kuroda again. I wish there were more small domestic moments, like brushing teeth together, but instead you get repeated CG angles and that one underwear set that appears so often it should have its own Twitter account. Also the auto mode is too fast and too slow at the same time, somehow. What I really liked is how it plays with cheating. It’s not just “she cheats, you cry, game over”. It keeps asking how much you participate in her fall. Do you push her toward “helping” him because you’re naive, or because you secretly want to see how far she goes? There’s one late scene where she texts you that she’ll be “a bit late” and you can reply something supportive or jealous. No matter what you pick, it hurts in a different flavor. That’s the moment the game stops being about Kuroda and starts being about how disgusting desire can be when mixed with love. And also, again, that ass in those tight skirts. Honestly, the romance is kind of beautiful. And totally fucked. Both things can be true.