This thing feels like some horny fanfic that escaped from Tumblr and accidentally learned how to be a game. It throws you straight into this dirty version of the Turtles universe where April O’Neal basically decides that “journalism” means “put my mouth and tits on the story until the truth comes out.” She still has the yellow vibe going on, but it’s tighter, shorter, hugging her ass in a way that would never pass network TV. Her tits are huge and framed like they’re the real main characters, with that bright red hair bouncing while she’s trying to “interview” guys who clearly stopped listening to her words the second her lips wrapped around them. The whole thing feels like someone took the cartoon I watched as a kid, opened Pornhub in another tab, and then mashed the two together while giggling. It shouldn’t work. It kind of does. Or maybe I’m just too weak. Hard to tell.

First time Bebop shows up, I actually laughed because the game doesn’t even pretend this is about hero vs villain. He’s standing there, all bulky and stupid, and April is trying to act like a serious reporter. Two lines of dialogue later she’s on her knees giving him a messy blowjob for “exclusive footage,” and the camera angles go full trashy amateur porn. Saliva, sloppy sounds, her eyes rolled up, and those big tits pressed together while he uses her chest like it’s part of the interrogation tools. There’s a nice little handjob moment where she’s stroking him between lines of questioning, like she’s multitasking: “who are you working with” plus “don’t blow your load yet, I still need my climax scene.” At one point I thought there’d be a moral choice or some philosophical twist, like, is April using her sexuality as power or is she just getting used and filmed like meat. Then Rocksteady crashes in and the whole thing shifts into a threesome, so yeah, any deep questions kind of drown in cum. Although, to be fair, being spitroasted by mutant criminals while still half-talking about “the story” is its own kind of feminist discourse. Maybe.

The actual moment where both Bebop and Rocksteady are pounding her is surprisingly intense. Her red hair is a mess, mascara smeared, and her huge tits bouncing while she’s being fucked from behind and stuffed from the front. The game doesn’t shy away from cumshots either, which I respect. They finish on her face, on her chest, inside her, basically treating her as a human notebook that you write the “news” on. There’s a scene where they coat her tits and she tries to stay in-character as a reporter, but she’s clearly enjoying it way too much and that tiny smile completely breaks the illusion of “I’m doing this for the channel.” It’s weirdly hot and also kind of stupid, but porn is allowed to be both. The teasing about passwords and secrets feels like those old cheat codes you’d type in on Newgrounds, except here your prize is more angles of April covered in jizz. At some point I started wondering what the Turtles were doing while all this happened, then forgot I cared because April was getting railed and the animation rhythm hit that nice hypnotic loop where you tell yourself “just one more scene” and then keep clicking like a lab rat pressing the pleasure button.