Your pap dies off-screen, leaves you his whole damn job in Soul Society, and you’re still basically a horny newbie who barely remembers which captain hates which. That’s the vibe here. You’re thrown in as the new commander, everyone calls you “taicho” with that fake respect, and half the time you’re trying to decide if you should fix the political mess or just fuck your way through it. First scene already tells you how it goes: one minute you’re at a funeral, the next you’re staring at Rukia’s legs way too long and thinking “yeah this is not how a responsible leader behaves” while the game kinda smiles and says, “good, keep going.” It doesn’t pretend to be epic and serious, even when it tries. You talk to captains, you mess with schedules, send squads on missions, but every choice has that “ok but how does this help me get into her pants” feeling. Sometimes it’s soft stuff, like walking Hinata-style shy girls out of their shell with dumb little compliments, sometimes it’s straight up “I’m your commander, get on your knees” and the game doesn’t flinch at all.

What really hooked me was how dirty it gets once you stop being polite. At first I was like “I’ll play the good boy,” trying to keep everyone friendly, but you run into Rangiku and her tits are basically their own cutscene, spilling out of the uniform every time she bends forward. You can tease her, get teased back, or just push it into rough territory if you set your dominance high enough. Same with Yoruichi. One route she’s trolling you, laughing in your face, making you jerk off like a dog while she watches. Different route, you’ve got her on all fours, collar biting into her neck, ass up and dripping while you decide if it’s going to be slow pussy worship or full-on choke-and-cream. The game doesn’t hide the nasty stuff: sleep sex scenes, voyeurism when you spy on captains bathing, lesbian side events with girls grinding on each other while you’re just there stroking, ahegao faces that would get you banned on Instagram in one second. It’ll let you titfuck Orihime on your office chair, footjob from some smug captain who pretends she hates you, sex toys stuffed into subordinates while they’re trying to keep a straight face in meetings. One moment you’re holding a sweet romance flag with someone like Inoue, later you’re watching her gag on your cock while her eyes roll up, drool everywhere, and then you still go to a “respectful” briefing like nothing happened. The AI CG actually surprised me a bit, sometimes it looks weird on fingers but then you get a midnight creampie scene with Nel or a rough blowjob with Tsunade-tier milf and suddenly you forget everything you wanted to complain about. I still hate that tiny menu button that’s slightly off-center and my brain screams every time I tap it, but yeah, this is one of those games where you say “ok, just one more scene” and then your dick hurts but you still click.

First time I launched *House of Shinobi*, I kinda laughed because the main menu music tried *so hard* to sound grand and brooding that it looped in this weird offbeat way - almost like the composer’s laptop was overheating. But then something strange happened. I got pulled in. The way the game paces itself - slow, quiet scenes between sudden bursts of raw, filthy intensity - reminds me of watching late-night anime on a borrowed DVD player when the volume button didn’t work and you had to ride the tension between “God, this is hot” and “Please don't let anyone walk in.” That feeling’s still there, buried under all the messy UI. I swear I stared at the save screen for full five minutes wondering which thumbnail was my actual progress. But that’s kind of the point: it’s accidental intimacy mixed with clunky obsession.

When the game goes erotic, it doesn’t hold back. The moans aren’t cleanly recorded; they’re layered like someone mixed them through an old cassette filter, and somehow it fits better than most ‘HD’ adult games. The scenes with Tsunade and Hinata hit different moods - one warm and messy, the other oddly gentle, like you’re being dared to keep eye contact. It’s not just pixel art but deliberate rhythm: the breathing, the softened thuds, the moment right before a slap lands. Even the humiliation stuff - which I usually skip - felt written by someone who hates and loves their characters at once. That inner contradiction, man… it gets under your skin.

The funny part? Every now and then, the sandbox sections drag you into managing chores or wandering alleyways, like filler episodes in the middle of chaos. I both hated and loved it. It kinda reminded me of grinding in *Honey Select* but with accidental moral consequences. And let’s be honest: nobody needs a moral lesson after three back-to-back creampie routes, yet when Kushina looks at you afterward and says nothing, that silence lingers. Maybe the game isn’t trying to say anything deep. Or maybe it’s mocking the idea that desire ever needed a reason. I still don’t like the font, though.

You know that feeling when you’re scrolling on your phone, bored out of your mind, and you start thinking “yeah, I kinda wanna flirt with half the anime multiverse right now”? This game leans right into that. It’s a mobile-style dating sim where your whole job is to talk, tease, and slowly push your way from cute banter to full-on filthy with a bunch of familiar faces. One minute you’re trying to keep your shit together while Tsunade leans in with those ridiculous tits, the next you’re trading playful jabs with Marin Kitagawa like she’s your chaotic cosplay girlfriend who absolutely knows she’s out of your league. It’s very much a “pick a waifu, poke at her until she cracks, then enjoy the view” setup. You answer questions, pick dialog options, earn points when you say the thing she wants to hear, and each correct move nudges the relationship from “hi, senpai” to “okay, pull your dick out already.”

What I like is how the game doesn’t pretend it’s some deep, tragic romance. It pretends for like 10 seconds, then goes straight into horny nerd brain. You start with small talk, a bit of teasing, then she starts hinting, and once you’ve stacked enough points, the clothes start vanishing. One date you’re laughing with Aqua while she’s being useless and bratty, the next date she’s grinding in your lap and calling you a pervert like it’s your fault. Rias acts all composed, polite, almost royal, but you keep pushing the right answers and suddenly you’re getting your cock squeezed between those huge tits she pretends are a burden. There are titfucks, messy handjobs, slow teasing oral where she holds eye contact like she wants to watch you lose control, the usual “oops I sat on it” vaginal sex, and yeah, anal too if you unlock the right scenes. Some girls treat it as a reward, some as a challenge, some as “shut up and enjoy it.” I had this moment with a certain dragon milf where she’s bouncing on top of me with that massive ass, smiling like she’s finally found a new toy, and I genuinely forgot to click the next line because I was too busy staring.

It’s not all straight either, which is nice. You’ve got traps like Astolfo and Felix in the mix, cute and flirty and way too confident, and if you’re into that, the game doesn’t tiptoe around it. They flirt hard, they suck you off like they’ve practiced, they ride you like they’re trying to prove something. Some routes feel more romantic, like a soft slow-burn with a girl like Rem, where you actually care a bit about the conversation before you end up buried inside her, and some are pure chaos, like Darkness begging you to use her like a toy while you’re thinking “ok, I’m the degenerate here but wow.” It’s kinda funny how sometimes the writing hits this surprisingly sweet mood, then two screens later you’re balls-deep and watching a loop of her moaning and drooling, legs shaking. There’s a harem vibe too once you realize just how many characters are waiting for you. Best way to enjoy it? Don’t rush. Take a character, answer her correctly, watch her shift from “oh, we’re just talking” to “fuck me harder” and let yourself get sucked into each scene. Screenshot the faces you like, replay the ones that make you twitch, and let the game do what it clearly wants to do: melt your brain in the dirtiest, laziest way possible.

It’s a weird kind of wrong that feels almost too confident about itself. The game just throws you right into this hotel-room-styled tension between Ben and Gwen, like there’s no excuse, no build-up, just quiet breathing and the kind of slow curiosity that only gets worse the more you watch. The control scheme is barely there - you think you’re just clicking around to peek, but then you’re moving hands and lips like you’re trying to pass off an accident as an experiment. The pacing makes it feel like time stretches sideways. There’s that one moment where Gwen turns, half-asleep, and it’s not clear if she knows what’s happening, and you catch yourself leaning closer like a total creep. God help me, I think that’s intentional.

Half the time the audio feels too loud, but maybe that’s the point - it’s not polished, like it’s meant to break the “cartoon world” with uncomfortable realism. The blowjob scene looks like it was stitched together by someone who didn’t care about pretty, just raw motion, the way her throat tightens around him while he mutters things that sound more like apologies than dirty talk. And then when you switch to doggystyle, yeah it’s cliché, but the way the lighting flickers - it’s distracting as hell and, weirdly, kind of hypnotic. The game’s rhythm keeps screwing with you: it slows down on the heavy stuff like missionary creampie and then speeds up when you least expect, like the code itself is embarrassed about what it’s showing. I got annoyed at that. Then again, maybe that’s why I didn’t stop.

You can tell whoever made this knew exactly what nostalgia they were playing with, too. There’s this sick mix of childhood memory and adult hunger that no one wants to admit enjoying. Kind of like watching something too close to a secret. The handjob bit feels almost shy, then the facial lands out of nowhere, breaking the build-up in the most abrupt, stupidly real way. I hate that it worked. I hate that my mouse hand twitched even after the final loop restarted. If that’s not the most human reaction, I don’t know what is.