Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.

The first thing I noticed was how the brunette by the tent kept glancing at the fire, like she was waiting for someone to make a move. Not me, obviously. I was too busy clicking through dialogue options that all felt like variations of "yes, let's fuck in the woods." Which, fair. The game doesn't pretend to be anything else.

Camping trip setup, a bunch of hot guys and girls, zero plot armor. You pick who to talk to, and the masturbation scenes start early. Like, before the sun even sets in-game. There's one moment where you can just watch a guy jerk off behind a tree while two girls whisper about it. I spent way too long on that screen. The nature backdrop is actually kind of nice, all greens and browns, but nobody's here for the scenery.

The orgy tag isn't a lie. Once you unlock enough flags, everyone ends up in a pile near the lake. The brunette from earlier? She's the key to most of it. I kept trying to romance her solo, but the game kept pushing group stuff. Annoying, but also hot. The writing is rough in places, like it was translated by someone who learned English from porn captions. "Your body is so warm like campfire" is a real line. I laughed, then clicked continue.

What I wish was different: the choices don't matter much. You can pick the "shy" option and still end up balls deep in a threesome two scenes later. Also the sound effects are just... wet noises. No music. Just squelching. I don't know why that bothered me, but it did.

Still, for a browser game about camping turning into a fuckfest, it delivers. The hot guys are actually hot, which is rare. And the brunette's final scene? Worth the weird dialogue. Just don't expect romance. Expect bodies.

The mouse cursor is a dildo. That's the whole thing. A real model, some blonde with that look like she just remembered she left the oven on but also really needs to get off, is on all fours. Doggy style. And you move your mouse and the toy goes in and out. I kept thinking about those old flash games where you had to trace a line perfectly or the girl would slap you, but this is simpler. Just back and forth. The lack of polish is almost aggressive, like they filmed it on a phone from 2009 and called it a day. The lighting is flat, the loop is maybe three seconds, and her expression never changes. It's hypnotic in the way a broken gif is.

I spent longer than I want to admit just making tiny circles with my wrist. There's no goal, no climax meter, no "you win" screen. You just... do the thing. The manual tag is literal, you are manually operating a dildo with your mouse. My forearm started to ache and I realized I was basically doing a repetitive strain injury simulator but for porn. The anal dildo option is there too, same deal, different hole. I forgot to mention there's no sound. Or maybe my browser blocked it. Doesn't matter. The silence makes it weirder, like you're a ghost possessing a sex toy.

The real model aspect is what gets me. She's not a drawing, not a 3D render with jiggle physics that feel like a tech demo. Just a person, probably paid a flat fee, now immortalized in a browser tab while strangers wiggle their mice at her. I tabbed out to check Discord and forgot the game was running, came back and she was still there, mid-thrust, waiting. It felt accusatory. Like, "well? finish the job." I didn't. I closed the tab and my wrist still hurts.

The breast expansion thing happens so fast you barely register it. One click and Haruhi's chest just balloons, like someone's pumping air into a beach ball. The animation doesn't even try to be smooth, it's this jerky, almost glitchy transition that I found myself replaying like five times. Not because it's good, but because it's so weirdly hypnotic. The whole game has that feeling, like a flipbook drawn by someone who was really horny but also kind of distracted. The paizuri scene after that, with the new oversized proportions, feels clumsy. The physics, if you can call them that, make the titfuck look more like she's wrestling with a confused snake than anything actually sexy.

Spent way too long trying to get the doggystyle angle right. The change position button is this tiny little thing in the corner, easy to miss, and when you finally hit it the perspective shifts so abruptly it's like the camera just tripped over. There's a moment where her bikini clips through her body, a little flash of polygon, and honestly that imperfection stuck with me more than the actual fucking. The facial cumshot at the end is just a static image that plasters on screen, no drip, no reaction from her, just a white mask appearing. I wish there was some kind of sound, even a bad one, but it's silent. The whole thing is silent, which makes the exaggerated poses feel even more absurd. Like a mime show at a very specific, very desperate theater.

The Haruhi model looks vaguely like the character if you squint, but her expression never changes. That same blank, slightly surprised look whether she's taking a big cock in her pussy or doing the anal dildo scene. The flying tree frog position, whatever that's supposed to be, just looks like a complicated way to dislocate a hip. I kept clicking through the light novel style dialogue boxes, but the text is so broken it becomes its own kind of poetry. "Abuse Haruhi Suzumiya now" it says, and you do, but it feels less like abuse and more like poking a doll that's already fallen apart at the seams. The whole thing runs in a browser tab I forgot to close and found later, still on the same frame, waiting.

The first thing that hits you is the absolute state of the art. I mean, it looks like someone drew this on a napkin during a bumpy bus ride and then scanned it with a potato. The lines are shaky, the colors bleed outside the lines like a toddler's coloring book, and the animation, if you can call it that, is just two frames of Winry's tits jittering up and down like a glitched out Bethesda NPC. It's so aggressively unpolished that it circles back around to being hypnotic. You can't look away. It's the visual equivalent of a car crash where the car is made of MS Paint.

And yet. The breast expansion mechanic is just... there's a slider. You drag it. Her chest inflates like a pair of water balloons being filled from a garden hose, completely ignoring any laws of physics or anatomy. They don't just get bigger, they sort of... migrate? Upwards and outwards, until she looks like a figurehead on the front of a very confused ship. The dildo, which the game insists is full metal, is just a grey cylinder that clips through her hand half the time. The doggystyle scene is a single static image where her spine is bent at an angle that would make a chiropractor weep. You click a button that says "juice" and a comically large, opaque white splatter just appears on her ass. No animation, no transition, just *splat*. It's so blunt and poorly executed that I actually laughed out loud, a real, genuine laugh, not the kind you do for a stream.

I spent an unreasonable amount of time just undressing her. The uniform comes off in pieces, but the buttons don't line up. You click a button that says "remove top" and her entire torso just becomes a nude texture, the bra and shirt vanishing in the same frame. It's the little things, you know? The complete lack of care. It's almost a form of outsider art. I've seen flash games from 2003 with more polish. This makes those look like AAA titles. The whole thing feels like a shitpost that accidentally got uploaded to a game portal. I'm not even sure if the flying tree frog tag is a joke or if I missed a secret screen where a poorly drawn amphibian glides across the background. I kept clicking everywhere hoping for it. Nothing. Maybe that's the real game, the search for the frog. The Winry here has nothing to do with the actual character, she's just a blonde shape with huge boobs and a vacant stare, and honestly, that's the most honest thing about this entire disaster.

Link looks tired in this one. Not tired like “hero of time” tired, more like “I’ve fucked royalty for too long, I need something weird” tired. And then Midna shows up, tiny smug goblin queen with that stupidly huge helmet and those sharp little hips, and the whole thing turns from fantasy adventure to “ok, this is about corruption and obsession now.” The game basically locks you in a private sex dungeon with her, no pretense, no long build up, just her floating there, grinning like she already knows where you’re going to cum and she’s fine with all of it. It feels like somebody watched Twilight Princess, paused every time Midna bent over, and said: yeah, this, but interactive, and way more messy.

Her body is the real hook. They gave her those small, tight tits that don’t jiggle much, but they *look* insanely touchable, with that half-shadow skin and those glowing marks crawling over her curves. It’s not “big anime cow udders”, it’s more like this slim, slightly alien body that looks bendable in every angle. Pussy is drawn snug and high, almost too neat, and then you get her ass when she arches her back, and that’s when everything clicks. Anal in this game doesn’t feel like an extra option, it feels like the main course they built everything around. The way she spreads for Link, the way her expression shifts between smug and “fuck, that’s deep” when you push harder, it has that nasty little power shift where you’re not sure who is actually using who. Deepthroat scenes have that same vibe: she acts like she owns his cock, then suddenly her eyes water and she gags a bit, and for a second you actually feel bad, then the game throws this wet sucking sound and you forget morality exists.

I like how the cum system is handled way more than I should. On my phone, playing in Chrome with too many tabs open, it still runs smooth when you flip from face to pussy to ass to body like you are painting her with sperm. Facial is probably the most “pornhub classic” angle: her one visible eye staring up, thick lines of cum dripping over that mask, and there is this tiny animation where she licks a bit from her lip if you time it right. Pussy creampie looks almost soft, like she’s secretly into the idea of getting bred by this idiot hero, while ass creampie is just filthy, white leaking out as she clenches. Only thing that annoyed me, her hair-hand thing clips weird when she jerks Link off; once you see it, you cannot unsee it, like that one pixel that doesn’t fit on your phone screen, and it kept pulling my eye away from her pussy. But whatever. You’re here for Midna acting like a cock-hungry little monarch, and on that level, it feels like pure fan art fantasy that finally got tired of being safe and just let Link ruin her holes properly.

Lunamaria Hawke in a school uniform with her tits already popping the zipper, that's the whole mood. Flying Tree Frog keeps it simple, you get a menu of outfits, bikini, pilot suit, the classic uniform, and you click to peel layers off. The breast expansion tag is doing heavy lifting here because her chest inflates like a beach ball when you poke around. Not complaining, it's dumb fun.

The f-series formula means no story, no dialogue, just a static girl and your cursor. You undress her slow, then the dildo comes out. Anal dildo specifically, which caught me off guard because the thumbnail only hinted at pussy stuff. The masturbation loop is basic, click the toy, watch her squirm, fill a meter, she cums. Repeat with different clothes. The Gundam reference is surface level, she's Lunamaria in name and hair color but don't expect mecha drama or anything. Honestly the school uniform variant looks like a bootleg cosplay photo from 2007.

Pacing is like microwaving leftovers, you know exactly what you're getting and it's warm enough. One weird detail, the flying tree frog logo sits in the corner the whole time, a little green frog staring at you while you click a dildo into an anime girl. Can't unsee it. The outfit switching is snappy though, no loading screens, which is nice when you're just killing time between Discord tabs.

No sound, no animation beyond a few jiggle frames. The cum meter resets if you switch outfits mid-scene, which annoyed me more than it should. But for a browser hentai time waster, it does the job. Lunamaria's big boobs and that dumb frog, that's the review.

Inga again. The blonde with the big tits who just stands there while you click her clothes off. This is the first part, the one they skipped, so you get the whole boring setup before the sequel. No story, no dialogue, just her body and your mouse cursor.

The whole game is clicking. Click her shirt, it comes off. Click her skirt, gone. Then you click her tits and she starts touching herself. That's it. The striptease is fine, I guess, if you like watching a static image slowly undress. But the masturbation part is weak. She just rubs herself with this blank look, like she's waiting for a bus. No sound, no animation beyond a basic loop. I've seen more life in a loading screen.

And the clicking mechanic gets old fast. You're not solving anything, you're not earning anything. Just clicking body parts until the game decides you've clicked enough. It's like a vending machine that only gives you one item. The self touching tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting here because there's no buildup, no tease. Just click, click, click, and she's naked and rubbing. Where's the fun in that?

The big tits are there, sure. But they don't move much. The whole thing feels like a slideshow someone forgot to finish. I'd say skip this and go straight to part two, but even that's not saying much. Maybe if they added some reactions, some sounds, a reason to keep clicking. Right now it's just a blonde with her hand between her legs and a dead expression. Not exactly a thrill ride.

You know what’s funny? I was playing this on my phone while waiting for the bus, right, and some old lady looked over my shoulder. The look on her face. Priceless. Because Rio here, this redhead with tits that just keep fucking growing, she’s going to town on herself with a clear dildo and the whole screen is just wet sounds and moaning. The breast expansion thing, it’s not gradual like some games where you gotta click fifty times. It’s like, boom, bigger, and the bikini top just gives up. The uniform tag is a lie though, she’s in that casino dealer outfit for maybe two seconds before it’s ripped off. I wanted more of that, the whole power dynamic of a dealer in control, but nah, straight to the rainbow colored background and her spreading her legs. The rainbow gate thing, I don’t even know what that means, some pachinko reference probably, who cares.

The masturbation scenes are the whole game basically. You just click to increase pleasure, which is a bar that fills up, and her expressions get stupider and stupider. In a good way. Her mouth hangs open like a fish. There’s this one moment where she’s on all fours and the dildo is just, like, hovering there, and you click and it slides in and the sound effect is so wet it made me check if I spilled my drink. The flying tree frog tag, I kept waiting for an actual frog to show up. Like, a sexy frog? A frog with tits? Nothing. Just Rio and her giant red bush, which by the way, the red hair down there is detailed in a way that’s almost creepy. You can see every strand. Meanwhile the background is just a blurry mess of colors. Priorities, I guess.

I wish the game had more positions. It’s just the same loop over and over, undress, insert, cum, next scene. But the cum animation, fuck, it’s like a firehose. Totally unrealistic, which is exactly what I want from a hentai game. Don’t give me realism, give me a redhead screaming while her tits inflate like balloons. The app crashed once on my shitty phone, some Unity error, but it restarted right where I left off. Which was mid squirt. So that’s something. The whole thing feels like a bootleg you’d find on a site with seventeen pop up ads, and I mean that as a compliment. It’s not trying to be classy. It’s just Rio, her dildo, and those impossible bo