It’s a weird kind of wrong that feels almost too confident about itself. The game just throws you right into this hotel-room-styled tension between Ben and Gwen, like there’s no excuse, no build-up, just quiet breathing and the kind of slow curiosity that only gets worse the more you watch. The control scheme is barely there - you think you’re just clicking around to peek, but then you’re moving hands and lips like you’re trying to pass off an accident as an experiment. The pacing makes it feel like time stretches sideways. There’s that one moment where Gwen turns, half-asleep, and it’s not clear if she knows what’s happening, and you catch yourself leaning closer like a total creep. God help me, I think that’s intentional.

Half the time the audio feels too loud, but maybe that’s the point - it’s not polished, like it’s meant to break the “cartoon world” with uncomfortable realism. The blowjob scene looks like it was stitched together by someone who didn’t care about pretty, just raw motion, the way her throat tightens around him while he mutters things that sound more like apologies than dirty talk. And then when you switch to doggystyle, yeah it’s cliché, but the way the lighting flickers - it’s distracting as hell and, weirdly, kind of hypnotic. The game’s rhythm keeps screwing with you: it slows down on the heavy stuff like missionary creampie and then speeds up when you least expect, like the code itself is embarrassed about what it’s showing. I got annoyed at that. Then again, maybe that’s why I didn’t stop.

You can tell whoever made this knew exactly what nostalgia they were playing with, too. There’s this sick mix of childhood memory and adult hunger that no one wants to admit enjoying. Kind of like watching something too close to a secret. The handjob bit feels almost shy, then the facial lands out of nowhere, breaking the build-up in the most abrupt, stupidly real way. I hate that it worked. I hate that my mouse hand twitched even after the final loop restarted. If that’s not the most human reaction, I don’t know what is.

It’s weird how this game starts like it’s pretending to care about plot. You think it’s about Tsunade gambling again, being her usual chaotic self, but nah - two minutes in and it just throws you into the mess. There’s this sense of shameless humor I kinda liked; it doesn’t even try to justify anything. She owes money, her solution involves clones, and everyone’s naked before you can blink. The sound effects are ridiculous - like someone mixed old arcade bleeps with wet noises, and somehow it works. I laughed, then got turned on, then laughed again. The rhythm feels accidental, like a loop someone forgot to trim, but that’s part of the charm. You can almost imagine some guy in 2008 coding it while blasting Eurobeat in the background.

What I didn’t expect was how expressive the faces are. Not polished, but raw in that flash‑era way where every exaggerated blink feels hand‑made. Tsunade’s boobs take up half the screen, sure, but her grin sells it more than the physics. I caught myself clicking too fast just to see if the clones would glitch out - and they did, kind of melting together mid‑animation. It’s oddly beautiful, like a broken GIF that refuses to die. The Raikage scene hits different - too fast, too much flexing, but there’s this energy, like two powerhouses trying to out‑moan each other. I remember thinking, “this shouldn’t be hot,” and yet.

Story? Barely there. But the pacing keeps you hooked, because it’s never just sex - it’s comedy wrapped around sweat. I like that it doesn’t moralize; it just exists, messy and loud. The cumshot ending lands with a splat that feels almost celebratory. Would I call it art? Maybe not. But it’s got that same rough soul as old chiptunes - imperfect loops, dirty fun, no pretense. You finish it and kinda want to replay, even though you know every beat. Maybe that’s nostalgia, or maybe I’m just into stupidly honest smut. Either way, it lingers.

This Metroid parody throws all that space bounty hunter dignity right out the airlock. Samus gets herself captured and tied up, which honestly feels like terrible tactical planning for someone who usually blows up entire planets. But hey, that's where the fun starts because now she's completely at your mercy in this interactive playground of debauchery.

The soundtrack? Pretty basic electronic stuff that tries to sound futuristic but mostly just loops in the background while you're busy exploring all the different ways to mess with our helpless heroine. Speaking of exploring, there's actually a decent variety of toys and tools at your disposal - vibrators, tentacles, the works. You can strip her down piece by piece or keep some of that iconic orange suit on if that's your thing. The customization options are surprisingly thorough, letting you decide whether you want her shaved or natural, and there's even a pissing mechanic that's... well, it exists. Some people are into that water sports action, though the animation quality is pretty rough around the edges. The whole thing feels like it was made by someone who had big ideas but maybe not the biggest budget to execute them properly.

What really gets me is how they managed to make Samus look both vulnerable and still recognizably badass even while she's completely helpless. The facial expressions change based on what you're doing to her, which adds some nice reactive elements to the experience. You can work your way up from gentle teasing to full-on hardcore penetration, and everything culminates in some pretty explosive creampie scenes that'll definitely satisfy if you're into that finishing move. The physics on her chest bounce around more than they probably should, but honestly that just adds to the whole over-the-top hentai vibe they're going for here.

House of Morecock: Ocean Cruise feels like someone took every horny idea about sailors and put it into a single, filthy cartoon, then gave it just enough structure to pretend it has a plot. You’re on this ship full of thick, stupidly hot guys in tight uniforms that clearly fail at their job, because every scene is just one excuse after another for them to end up naked or half naked, grinding against each other. It starts almost casual, like, “oh, just a normal cruise,” and two minutes later you’re watching a beefy officer pin some muscleboy to a railing while the voice acting is moaning in your ear harder than your porn tabs on Chrome. The voicing is surprisingly good, by the way. Not Hollywood good, but porn good, which is better for this kind of thing. Characters actually sound like dudes about to lose control, not like some bored guy reading lines on a Blue Yeti. Sometimes the timing is weird, like the moan kicks in half a second before the thrust animation, which made me laugh, then I replayed the scene anyway because I’m weak.

The whole thing has this stupid, fun, campy vibe. It pretends to be serious for one second, like “we’re on a dangerous mission on the ocean,” and then you click once and suddenly uniforms are open, dicks are out, and you’re watching a sweaty, muscular stack of guys rutting like they forgot anyone else exists on that ship. I like how the camera sometimes stays too long on some detail that absolutely doesn’t need that much attention, like one dude’s flexing forearm while he’s pounding the other guy. As someone who spends way too many hours inside Unreal, my brain is going “man, they really focused on this loop,” and at the same time my other brain is like “shut up and zoom in more.” Animations are not perfect, hips clip a bit, bodies slide a tiny bit over each other, but then you get that one moment where a huge sailor slams the smaller but still ripped guy into the cabin door, the voice cracks, and it suddenly hits really hard. It feels messy and raw and kind of honest in a horny, unserious way. I wish they let you walk freely around the deck or something, but they don’t and I will complain about that forever.

What sells it for me is that stupid humor they sneak in. A serious line, then an over-the-top groan, or some ridiculous situation like two officers “disciplining” a recruit in a completely empty hallway on a crowded cruise ship, and nobody questions anything. At one point I accidentally clicked too fast and skipped a line, and I actually went back just to hear how the guy would deliver that cheesy dirty talk. The game keeps acting like it’s a “series opener” with this big world, but it really just wants to show brawny guys rearranging each other’s insides anywhere on that boat: behind lifeboats, in cramped cabins, in places where in real life someone from housekeeping would walk in with a bucket. There’s this one uniform that keeps showing up, white pants, tight shirt, chest basically spilling out, and every time I saw it I knew, ok, this scene will not stay safe for work even 10 seconds. It’s horny, loud, kind of dumb in the best way, like a porn comic that learned how to move and talk, and also somehow forgot what subtlety even means.