Your pap dies off-screen, leaves you his whole damn job in Soul Society, and you’re still basically a horny newbie who barely remembers which captain hates which. That’s the vibe here. You’re thrown in as the new commander, everyone calls you “taicho” with that fake respect, and half the time you’re trying to decide if you should fix the political mess or just fuck your way through it. First scene already tells you how it goes: one minute you’re at a funeral, the next you’re staring at Rukia’s legs way too long and thinking “yeah this is not how a responsible leader behaves” while the game kinda smiles and says, “good, keep going.” It doesn’t pretend to be epic and serious, even when it tries. You talk to captains, you mess with schedules, send squads on missions, but every choice has that “ok but how does this help me get into her pants” feeling. Sometimes it’s soft stuff, like walking Hinata-style shy girls out of their shell with dumb little compliments, sometimes it’s straight up “I’m your commander, get on your knees” and the game doesn’t flinch at all.

What really hooked me was how dirty it gets once you stop being polite. At first I was like “I’ll play the good boy,” trying to keep everyone friendly, but you run into Rangiku and her tits are basically their own cutscene, spilling out of the uniform every time she bends forward. You can tease her, get teased back, or just push it into rough territory if you set your dominance high enough. Same with Yoruichi. One route she’s trolling you, laughing in your face, making you jerk off like a dog while she watches. Different route, you’ve got her on all fours, collar biting into her neck, ass up and dripping while you decide if it’s going to be slow pussy worship or full-on choke-and-cream. The game doesn’t hide the nasty stuff: sleep sex scenes, voyeurism when you spy on captains bathing, lesbian side events with girls grinding on each other while you’re just there stroking, ahegao faces that would get you banned on Instagram in one second. It’ll let you titfuck Orihime on your office chair, footjob from some smug captain who pretends she hates you, sex toys stuffed into subordinates while they’re trying to keep a straight face in meetings. One moment you’re holding a sweet romance flag with someone like Inoue, later you’re watching her gag on your cock while her eyes roll up, drool everywhere, and then you still go to a “respectful” briefing like nothing happened. The AI CG actually surprised me a bit, sometimes it looks weird on fingers but then you get a midnight creampie scene with Nel or a rough blowjob with Tsunade-tier milf and suddenly you forget everything you wanted to complain about. I still hate that tiny menu button that’s slightly off-center and my brain screams every time I tap it, but yeah, this is one of those games where you say “ok, just one more scene” and then your dick hurts but you still click.

Thief of Hearts feels like someone mashed together a heist movie and one of those horny late night VN titles you only admit playing on alt account. You start as this young guy who is way too calm about doing crime, sneaking around a flashy city that pretends to be clean while you basically fuck your way through all its dirty corners. The whole thing is built around planning robberies and at the same time slowly corrupting, teasing or straight up seducing people who should absolutely call the cops on you, but instead end up with your cock in their mouth. One moment you are checking security cameras, the next you are pressing a stacked woman against a school hallway wall, palming her huge tits while she tries to keep her voice down so no one hears how hard she is breathing. It has that vibe of “I know this is wrong, but I also really want to see what happens if I click the pervy option again.”

The school setting is used as a comfortable home base and also as a hunting ground. You get this fun contrast of doing serious planning with your crew and then walking into class to watch a shy girl pretend she does not see you checking her big ass every time she bends over her desk. There is animated stuff in the sex scenes, so when you finally push things too far, you actually see bodies move, asses bounce, lips wrap around your shaft. First time the game let me secretly watch two characters going at it in a locker room, I just sat there with that dumb grin like “ah, ok, we are doing voyeurism properly.” You can jerk off while spying on them, or wait and use what you saw to blackmail them later. It is fucked up, but also kind of hot how the story keeps mixing moral choice with “do you want to cum again?” The family angle sits right in that line too: you come home from a job and there is this milf relative in tight clothes, huge tits barely staying inside, bending to clean something and you get a dialogue option that is clearly not what a normal person should pick. You go from “innocent” hugs to fingers sliding under her clothes, to her on your lap, grinding slowly while pretending this is still just “comfort.” The game treats incest like another forbidden treasure to steal, not some big dramatic plot. It just quietly escalates until you are fucking her hard on the couch with her moaning your name and trying not to say the word that actually defines your relation.

Sex variety is solid and also a bit rude in a good way. There is teasing everywhere. Characters lean over your desk so their cleavage fills the whole screen, or “accidentally” press their ass on your crotch in a crowded bus, and you can either act cool or start groping, slipping your hand under skirts or inside tight jeans. Group scenes show up once your little team of specialists stops being just professionals and starts acting like horny thieves who celebrate every successful job with bodies instead of champagne. At one point I had two girls on their knees, taking turns with a messy blowjob while another sat on my face, grinding and losing control. Handjobs happen casually, like someone helping you “relax before the mission,” and then they suddenly pull your pants down and slide you inside, turning it into full on vaginal sex without much warning. There is stripping where a character starts just teasing, slowly removing clothes while you pick how rough or gentle you talk to her, and if you push the right buttons she ends up naked on the table, legs open, fingers working her clit while you watch, before you finally move in. The game pretends to care if you are a lone wolf or team player, but honestly I kept picking whatever choice looked like it would give more skin. It still somehow feels like a real heist story though, with tension and backstabbing and all that, only in this version everyone has a big ass, big tits, and half the important conversations end with somebody cumming.

It’s a weird kind of wrong that feels almost too confident about itself. The game just throws you right into this hotel-room-styled tension between Ben and Gwen, like there’s no excuse, no build-up, just quiet breathing and the kind of slow curiosity that only gets worse the more you watch. The control scheme is barely there - you think you’re just clicking around to peek, but then you’re moving hands and lips like you’re trying to pass off an accident as an experiment. The pacing makes it feel like time stretches sideways. There’s that one moment where Gwen turns, half-asleep, and it’s not clear if she knows what’s happening, and you catch yourself leaning closer like a total creep. God help me, I think that’s intentional.

Half the time the audio feels too loud, but maybe that’s the point - it’s not polished, like it’s meant to break the “cartoon world” with uncomfortable realism. The blowjob scene looks like it was stitched together by someone who didn’t care about pretty, just raw motion, the way her throat tightens around him while he mutters things that sound more like apologies than dirty talk. And then when you switch to doggystyle, yeah it’s cliché, but the way the lighting flickers - it’s distracting as hell and, weirdly, kind of hypnotic. The game’s rhythm keeps screwing with you: it slows down on the heavy stuff like missionary creampie and then speeds up when you least expect, like the code itself is embarrassed about what it’s showing. I got annoyed at that. Then again, maybe that’s why I didn’t stop.

You can tell whoever made this knew exactly what nostalgia they were playing with, too. There’s this sick mix of childhood memory and adult hunger that no one wants to admit enjoying. Kind of like watching something too close to a secret. The handjob bit feels almost shy, then the facial lands out of nowhere, breaking the build-up in the most abrupt, stupidly real way. I hate that it worked. I hate that my mouse hand twitched even after the final loop restarted. If that’s not the most human reaction, I don’t know what is.

It’s weird how this one starts like it’s gonna be another cheap parody, then halfway through you realize the dev actually cared - like, way too much. You’re sitting there thinking “haha fnaf but horny,” and suddenly the lighting makes sense, the rhythm of the moans matches the flicker of the animatronic eyes, and the phone calls stop being jokes and start feeling... almost hypnotic. The main guy’s supposed to be clueless, no memory and all that, but the real joke is how *you* end up being the one nervously checking doors while trying not to lose focus during a titfuck minigame. I swear the tease system messes with your head more than any jumpscare does. It shouldn’t work, but it does, especially when the furry animatress (yeah, that one) leans in and mouths half a word before glitching out like she’s embarrassed for you.

The SFX are ridiculous - like somebody recorded them in a bathroom - but sometimes that rawness hits right. There’s this one loop where she pants into the mic a bit too close, and it cuts off at random intervals, which somehow makes it hotter. Maybe that’s just me. The vibrator mechanic feels unbalanced; half the time it triggers dialogue that makes no sense, but then again, maybe memories don’t have logic either. I kinda hate how the mobile UI eats half the screen when things get intense, but then I forget because something obscene is happening on the other half. The moaning AI or VA (I can’t tell anymore) deserves credit though - it carries scenes even when nothing happens visually. And then, out of nowhere, there’s this quiet moment where the music drops and the only sound left is the slow hum of a machine behind her. Nothing sexy about it, yet it pulls you back in.

People keep arguing whether it’s a sandbox or a fever dream, and honestly, both fit. My favorite part? When you try to look away and the game punishes you by freezing everything mid-thrust until you stare again. That’s twisted genius. Dare to play it alone, or invite company? Neither. Just let it mess with your brain until you forget what you were guarding against in the first place.