Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.

I didn’t expect to laugh this much while, you know, also being wildly turned on. *Furry Bang Town* sounds like some cheap meme bait, but halfway through the first date scene with that smug wolf barista (he keeps pretending he’s bored while his tail literally wags), I realized this game knows exactly what it’s doing. There’s this weird mix of parody and genuine horniness - it flirts with irony but still goes all in when things get wet. The humor hits that awkward space where you don’t know if you’re supposed to cringe or moan. And the writing? Kind of broken in places, but in a way that feels like someone poured their kinks into Google Translate and said, “good enough.” It works. Too well maybe.

I keep thinking about Judy - not the movie one, but the version here who’s somehow both a cop and a futa stripper on weekends. Her route wrecked me; she teases like she’s reading your mind, then there’s this beach scene where she just drops the uniform and starts talking about “justice” while grinding against your thigh. It’s ridiculous. I almost closed the tab, but the sound design pulled me back - heavy breathing layered with seagulls and waves, absurdly effective. Then suddenly, boom, Pokémon crossover out of nowhere. A Lucario bartender offering “protein shots.” I wanted to roll my eyes, but I was already clicking through dialogue faster than I’d like to admit.

The public use scenes are messy in every sense - crowded cafe bathrooms, fur everywhere, people pretending not to watch. It’s filthy, kind of funny, and weirdly intimate. I hated that it made me feel something beyond just arousal. Also, the ending just stops mid-sentence, like the dev gave up or came too early. Still, I can’t stop thinking about that line where the pony character whispers, “You smell like story.” What does that even mean? Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. I’m probably overthinking it, but whatever - this game got under my skin in ways it really shouldn’t have.

It’s a weird kind of wrong that feels almost too confident about itself. The game just throws you right into this hotel-room-styled tension between Ben and Gwen, like there’s no excuse, no build-up, just quiet breathing and the kind of slow curiosity that only gets worse the more you watch. The control scheme is barely there - you think you’re just clicking around to peek, but then you’re moving hands and lips like you’re trying to pass off an accident as an experiment. The pacing makes it feel like time stretches sideways. There’s that one moment where Gwen turns, half-asleep, and it’s not clear if she knows what’s happening, and you catch yourself leaning closer like a total creep. God help me, I think that’s intentional.

Half the time the audio feels too loud, but maybe that’s the point - it’s not polished, like it’s meant to break the “cartoon world” with uncomfortable realism. The blowjob scene looks like it was stitched together by someone who didn’t care about pretty, just raw motion, the way her throat tightens around him while he mutters things that sound more like apologies than dirty talk. And then when you switch to doggystyle, yeah it’s cliché, but the way the lighting flickers - it’s distracting as hell and, weirdly, kind of hypnotic. The game’s rhythm keeps screwing with you: it slows down on the heavy stuff like missionary creampie and then speeds up when you least expect, like the code itself is embarrassed about what it’s showing. I got annoyed at that. Then again, maybe that’s why I didn’t stop.

You can tell whoever made this knew exactly what nostalgia they were playing with, too. There’s this sick mix of childhood memory and adult hunger that no one wants to admit enjoying. Kind of like watching something too close to a secret. The handjob bit feels almost shy, then the facial lands out of nowhere, breaking the build-up in the most abrupt, stupidly real way. I hate that it worked. I hate that my mouse hand twitched even after the final loop restarted. If that’s not the most human reaction, I don’t know what is.

Climax Yoga is basically Mei fanservice turned into a little horny science experiment, and it kinda leans hard into the idea that she’s a stressed-out nerd with huge curves who really, really needs a break. You’re the so-called scientist, but honestly it feels more like you’re a perv with a lab coat as a flimsy excuse. The setup is stupid in a fun way: she’s overloaded with “negative energy” or whatever, and the “treatment” is a mix of yoga poses and fucking her until that cute chubby body shakes like jelly. The game knows exactly what it’s doing, too. Mei isn’t just “slightly thick”, she’s full-on soft: big tits that squish and bounce, ass that stretches her yoga pants to hell, belly with just enough plush that you want to grab it when you thrust. Nothing subtle here, thank god.

The rhythm is simple but it works if you’re into edging yourself a bit. You click through dialogue where she tries to stay professional, talking about stress, experiments, breathing techniques, while the camera keeps sneaking lower, catching her butt in tight leggings, her tits under a too-small sports top. Then the minigame pops in, and it’s basically “do you have enough coordination left in your horny brain to keep the bar in the right place.” It’s not explained much, it just appears, and you kinda figure it out while staring at her body. I played in Chrome on my laptop with like six other tabs open and it still ran fine, though the audio desynced once and it annoyed the hell out of me for no reason. She moans off-beat and suddenly I’m thinking about debugging instead of fucking a fictional snow scientist. That was the only moment where the mood really broke for me. Rest of the time I was half-slouched on my chair, one hand on the mouse, the other doing exactly what you think.

What sold it for me is how they make Mei look just exhausted at the start, bags under her eyes, tense shoulders, kind of shy about stretching in front of you, then gradually she loosens up. At one point I purposely messed up the minigame just to see if she’d get mad, and instead she just bites her lip and complains about needing “more focus” while her nipples are clearly poking through the fabric. The parody side is pretty on the nose: she talks about data, thermal output, and “stabilizing her core” while you’re basically rearranging her insides. There’s this one scene where she’s in a yoga bridge, ass in the air, belly stretched, and you’re thrusting into her while she tries to keep her voice calm like she’s still giving a lecture, and it absolutely breaks down into needy whimpering. It’s dumb, horny, and short, but I kinda liked how unpolished it feels, like some horny coder threw this together between Overwatch matches and just really, really likes thick nerd girls. Honestly, same.