Here is the review:

The quiz about black holes was actually pretty hard. I sat there staring at the event horizon question like an idiot, completely forgetting that the whole point of this game is to see cartoon tits. You walk around this sterile research center, clicking on doors, and a woman in a lab coat asks you about binary code. I failed the computer science test twice. On purpose maybe? The game doesn't judge. It just lets you retry until your brain remembers that RAM is volatile memory, and then you get a scene where she takes off her top.

The art is that specific kind of anime where the breasts have their own gravitational pull. Not complaining. The scientist lady, I think her name was something with an S, has these massive things that clip through her arms when she moves. The animation is stiff, like a robot trying to do a sexy dance, but the cumshot mechanic is weirdly detailed. It lands and stays there. A little too long maybe. I left it on screen while I went to get a drink and came back and it was just... still there. Glowing almost. The space program theme is just a thin excuse, a coat of paint over a basic "click door, answer question, see tits" loop.

There's a room with a telescope. You click it and nothing happens. I spent maybe three minutes clicking that telescope. Why is it even there? The astronomy test itself is in a different room, a room with a woman who has even bigger tits than the first one, which I didn't think was possible given the laws of physics this game ignores. The whole fuck town promise from the tags is misleading. It's not a town. It's like four rooms and a hallway. You're not fucking a town, you're barely fucking a small office park. The quiz part is genuinely more engaging than the sex, which says something. I learned what a pulsar is. Then I saw a static image of a woman covered in a substance that looked like melted mozzarella. My brain feels like a scrambled egg. A scrambled egg that knows the speed of light.

Pussymon episode 20, right. I fired it up on a shitty laptop that wheezes when you open more than two tabs and honestly the whole thing runs smooth as butter which is more than I can say for some triple A garbage I paid sixty bucks for last month. The teleport system they added, you just click it from your bag and bam you're at the volcano. No walking. I forgot I had it for like twenty minutes and kept trudging through the same forest path three times before I remembered. That's on me though.

The volcano area is where Blazgodon used to live and there's something genuinely funny about rolling up to this fire creature's old home and just... collecting pussymon there. Seven new ones this time, Viflameber and Viflamemja got new interactions too which I won't spoil but let's say the animations are doing things I didn't expect from a flash game. 25 new animations total. Some of them are rough around the edges, the loop points feel a bit janky on a couple, but the jank kind of adds to the whole unpolished charm this series has always had. The mysterious woods near Halloween town, I don't know man, I got lost in there for a while and not in a fun way. The map layout is confusing but then you stumble on a new pussymon and suddenly you don't care anymore.

The story is moving along I guess, there's dialogue that made me snort once or twice, mostly because of how direct it is about what's happening. No pretense. You're here to catch these creatures and fuck them, the game knows it, you know it. The teleport thing should've been in earlier episodes honestly, backtracking was a pain before. Oh and the bag interface is still kind of clunky, I kept clicking the wrong item because the hitboxes feel off. Not a dealbreaker. The volcano map has this lava glow effect that's actually pretty nice against the darker backgrounds. Anyway Blazgodon's old place has some secrets I haven't figured out yet, there's a corner that looks like it should do something but maybe it's just decoration. I'll poke at it more later.

Twenty three girls. All dancing. All wearing way too much clothing for a carnival called Panchira Town, which honestly sets up certain expectations the game takes forever to deliver on. The whole thing runs on rock-paper-scissors. Click a girl, pick rock, paper, or scissors, and if you win three times she loses a layer. Lose and you start over. It's basically a coin flip simulator with anime tits as the prize, and I'm not even mad about it.

The striptease animations are where things get interesting. Each girl has her own little dance routine that changes as clothes come off, and some of them have these expressions that flicker between embarrassed and... not embarrassed. There's this one with short purple hair who does this thing with her hips during the second stage that made me lose focus and pick scissors three times in a row like an idiot. The sex scenes unlock after you fully strip someone, and they're fine. Standard hentai fare. But the real degenerate achievement is getting all 23 naked at once so the entire carnival becomes a nude dance party. That takes patience because the RNG hates you specifically.

Wish there was more variety in the minigame itself. Rock-paper-scissors gets old fast, and some girls feel like they cheat. The one in the back left corner definitely knows what I'm picking before I do. Side scenes are a nice touch once you've unlocked a few girls, but navigating the menu to find them is clunky and the game never explains what triggers which scene. The whole thing looks deliberately rough around the edges, like someone made it in a weekend and decided that was good enough. It kind of is, if you're just here to click through some lewds while questioning your life choices.

The whole thing is just juggling balls while some hentai girl with ridiculous tits watches from the corner of the screen. That's it. No story, no buildup, just you and your mouse trying to keep three or four spheres from hitting the ground. And honestly? The challenge part is real. My wrist started cramping around level six because the balls speed up in a way that feels personal, like the game knows you're about to fail and wants to laugh at you.

The reward for finishing is... a static image. Maybe she winks. Maybe her top comes off. I won't spoil it but let's just say I've seen more explicit stuff on a bus stop bench. The real draw is the frustration loop, that itch to beat your own score while some big-boobed anime lady judges your every miss. It's like Flappy Bird but with worse physics and better cleavage.

One thing that bugs me, the hitbox on the paddle is slightly off. You'll swear you touched the ball but nope, it clips through and you're back to the start. Never getting fixed, obviously. This is one of those flash relics from the golden era of Newgrounds where the porn was just a carrot on a stick and the stick was covered in sweat and broken dreams.

If you're into hentai girls and self-hatred, this is your jam. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

Fuka's tits are the whole point and honestly the only thing holding this together. School uniform, brunette, sporty vibe, then the strip starts. Click icons on the left, click blue arrows, watch her lose the skirt, the top, the bra. Standard F-series stuff. You know the drill if you've touched one of these before.

The pacing is like a microwave burrito. Hot in some spots, cold in the middle, and you keep chewing anyway because you already paid for it. First scene she's fully dressed, smiling like she doesn't know what's coming. Second scene the shirt's open. Third, tits out, and there's a dildo involved. Not subtle. The game doesn't pretend to be anything else. Big tits, dildo, uniform, strip. Four tags doing all the heavy lifting while the actual navigation feels like flipping through a PDF someone forgot to polish.

And look, I get it. These browser games are basically interactive image galleries with extra steps. But would it kill them to make the blue arrow not look like it was drawn in MS Paint? Small thing. Never gets fixed. Never will.

One moment that stuck with me, the transition from sports bra to fully topless. There's this half second where Fuka's expression changes, like she's pretending to be shy but her hand's already reaching for the dildo. That's the whole game right there. Fake reluctance, then straight to business. No foreplay in the UI either. Click click click, cum, close tab.

If you're gonna play it, don't bother with the sound. There isn't any. Just you, the mouse, and Fuka's pixel tits bouncing while you click through scenes like a degenerate slideshow. Which is fine. That's what you came for.

The whole thing runs in a browser, no download, just click and the cards flip. Lady Evelin sits there in her farm getup, straw hat and all, looking like she wandered out of a harvest festival. You play video poker, basic five card draw. Win a hand, she peels something off. Lose and she just smirks like she knows you'll keep going.

The art is deliberately rough. Not ugly, but unpolished in a way that feels like someone's sketchbook got horny. Her tits have that slightly uneven quality real bodies have, and when she finally spreads her legs the camera lingers like it's not sure where to focus. That's the charm honestly. It's not trying to be some hyperreal fantasy. It's a real human woman, photographed and filtered, playing a farm girl who's slowly losing her clothes over a card game.

Mechanically it's simple. Bet, hold, draw. The poker itself is fair enough, standard paytable. But the real game is patience. You're not here for royal flushes, you're here to watch her bra come off. And it works. Each win feels earned because the game doesn't hand you money. You'll lose streaks, curse at the screen, then hit a full house and suddenly her panties are gone.

One thing I wish was different but won't be: the farm setting barely matters. There's hay in the background, a fence, but she could be anywhere. The poker could be any card game. The fantasy is thin. But then she bends over and you forget what you were complaining about.

Also the sound design is nonexistent. No moans, no card shuffle, just silence. For an adult game that's weird. You'd think at least a wet noise when she touches herself. But no. Just you and the click of cards and her slowly getting naked.

If you play, bet small at first. Build up. The strip sequence is tied to total winnings, not individual hands, so don't blow it all on one risky draw. And when she finally gives you her pussy for usage, the scene is short. Too short. But that's the point maybe. Leave you wanting more.

I don't know what Bethesda's lawyers are doing but they clearly missed this one. It's Lydia. Like, straight up Lydia from Skyrim, same armor, same face, same weird loyalty thing she has where she's sworn to carry your burdens. Except here the burden is your dick.

The whole thing is basically a rhythm game disguised as a blowjob simulator. You got this pleasure meter that fills up and when it stops climbing you switch positions. Handjob to blowjob to whatever else. There's a cumshot at the end obviously. The mechanic is surprisingly decent for what it is, the timing feels responsive enough. Actually no it doesn't, the meter gets stuck sometimes and you're just clicking around wondering if the game froze or if you're doing something wrong. Happened to me three times with the handjob section. The switch prompt is way too subtle, like a tiny flash on screen that I kept missing because I was looking at, well, other things.

The art style is that specific kind of unpolished 3D you see in a lot of these parody games. Lydia looks okay from certain angles and then you rotate the camera and her neck does something anatomically impossible. Her armor clips through her body constantly. There's this one moment during the transition from handjob to blowjob where her helmet just floats off her head for a second before snapping back. I laughed. Not in a mean way, more like finding a typo in a menu.

The audio is just wet sounds and some grunting. No voice acting which feels like a missed opportunity because imagine Lydia with her deadpan delivery saying "I am sworn to carry your load" right at the climax. Missed opportunity. The whole thing loops pretty quick too, maybe five minutes of content total if you're not failing the meter checks.

For a browser game it loads fast and doesn't crash which is more than I can say for some of these things. The Elder Scrolls parody stuff is surface level but the Lydia choice is funny if you've played Skyrim and had her block every doorway you ever tried to walk through. She's still blocking things here, technically.

The stat tracking in my head went haywire the moment the ship crashed. Not for damage reports, but for the classic setup. Stranded on unknown planet, one alien female, immediate hospitality. I've mapped out 47 variations of this opening across adult games, and this one skips straight to the good part. No resource management, no dialogue trees, just a busty blue skinned local who apparently finds crash survivors irresistible. The facial animation when she looks up at you mid blowjob, that's the moment I added a tally mark to my "actually worth replaying" column.

The cumshot physics feel like they were coded by someone who really cared about that one specific thing and let everything else slide. Her tits bounce with a weird gravity that doesn't match the planet's supposed atmosphere, but who's checking atmospheric pressure when she's going down on you with those big alien eyes. The sci-fi backdrop is barely there, some generic wreckage in the background, a skybox that looks like it was grabbed from a free asset pack. Doesn't matter. The blowjob loop is smooth enough that I caught myself just letting it run while I was checking my spreadsheet of unlockable scenes. There's only like three variations total, which is pathetic for a game in 2024, but the facial finish is framed perfectly every time.

I keep thinking about Mass Effect's romance scenes, how they built up over hours of conversation and shared trauma. This game has none of that, obviously, and somehow that's refreshing. No pretending to care about her culture or her people's struggle against the whatever. Just a crashed ship, a willing alien, and a surprisingly well animated sequence that ends exactly how you'd expect. The sound design is terrible though, like really bad, just the same wet noise looped without any variation. I've heard better audio in games from 2005. Still added it to my "quick sessions" folder next to a few others that understand sometimes you just want the scene without the grind. The alien girl doesn't even have a name, which I only noticed on my fourth run while cataloging the different camera angles. Seven total, by the way, if you're counting.

I was supposed to be sorting out the quarterly spreadsheets but Janet from accounting is on her third smoke break so I figured why not. The browser tab was already open from yesterday. Dildo Fishing. The name alone, right? I didn't even read the description properly, just saw the blonde diver tag and clicked.

The boat just sits there on this pixelated lake that looks like it was drawn in MS Paint by someone who gave up halfway through. You've got these rods and a tackle box full of, well, silicone. Different sizes, different colors. I spent way too long just cycling through them, the little inventory sound is this wet slap noise that made me snort coffee onto my keyboard. The actual fishing part is basically an arcade timing minigame where you wait for the bobber to dip and then you gotta mash the button. Miss the window and you lose the dildo. I lost so many. They just sink into the digital depths forever. There's probably a graveyard down there.

Caught a redhead mermaid eventually. She looked annoyed, like I'd interrupted her underwater podcast or something. The scene that followed was... functional. The animation loops are short, the sound design is mostly just splashing and some stock moan effects that cut off abruptly. There's a diver character too, blonde, wearing scuba gear that conveniently disappears during the minigame. I wish the mermaids had more variety in their reactions, they all sort of have the same dead-eyed expression whether you're reeling them in or doing the other thing. The redhead one clipped through the boat hull at one point and I just sat there watching her tail phase through the wood like a ghost. Didn't even bother to restart. The whole thing has this lo-fi charm that I can't tell is intentional or just the result of someone learning game dev on a Tuesday. My boss walked by and I alt-tabbed so fast I think I pulled something in my wrist. Worth it? I don't know. The fishing mechanic is genuinely more engaging than it has any right to be for a game where the bait is a glow-in-the-dark dong.