You ever try to sink the 8-ball while some girl in a g-string is leaning over the felt right where you need to aim? No? This is that game.

Three opponents, one table, and everyone's playing at the same time. Absolute chaos. It's not proper billiards, it's more like a bar fight with cues except nobody gets hurt, they just lose their clothes. The mechanics are... look, the physics are drunk. Balls clip through each other sometimes. I watched a striped 9 bounce off nothing and land perfectly in a pocket and I still have no idea if that was a bug or a feature. You're not here for the simulation though. You're here because after every round, whoever's losing starts peeling off lace and looking vaguely disappointed in you.

The real models thing. Hmm. They've got that early 2000s softcore look, like a calendar shoot that escaped and learned to animate. One of them, the redhead, she makes this face when she's about to lose a piece that's somewhere between "I will end you" and "please end me." The stripping sequences are... fine. Functional. They do that thing where the clothes just sort of vanish in stages rather than actually being removed, which is always a letdown. But the lingerie sets are decent enough. Nothing groundbreaking. I've seen spicier stuff in a Target catalog but Target doesn't let you play pool against their models so points for that.

What's weird is how competitive it gets. Like you start off just wanting to see the content and then suddenly you're calculating bank shots and cursing when the brunette pockets three in a row because she's apparently some kind of pool shark. The game doesn't tell you this but she absolutely cheats on corner pockets. I'm convinced. The hitboxes on those are tighter than the others and nobody talks about it.