Okay so this game, Milfy City, I keep seeing it everywhere on those adult game sites, like a bad penny. You know the drill, you're a student, you have a boner for everyone, and there's a therapist. Judy. She puts you to sleep to remember yesterday. Fine. The whole thing is a flashback, which is a cheap trick but whatever, it works for a porn game. The loading screen says it has a lot of content and to wait. I waited. My phone got hot. Like, really hot. I thought about putting it on my chest to warm up but that's weird.
The first thing you notice is the writing. It's... something. It reads like it was translated through three different languages and then back again by someone who was also masturbating. Which, honestly, adds to the charm? Like, the dialogue is so clunky it becomes funny. You're supposed to be this horny student but you talk like a robot who just learned the word "pussy". The therapist, Judy, she's got this whole "I'm a professional but also I'm clearly going to fuck you later" vibe. Her tits are huge. Everyone's tits are huge. It's like a law of physics in this universe. I spent way too long just clicking on her chest to see if the dialogue would change. It didn't. But I kept doing it.
The game is a point and click, which is fine. You walk around the school, you talk to people, you try to get into their pants. There's a map, but it's in the full version, not this web build. So I was just wandering around the same three hallways for a while, lost. That was annoying. The web build is also missing the animated sex scenes, which is the whole point. So you get the build up, the weird dialogue, the promise of something hot, and then... a black screen with text. "You have sex now." Thanks. I guess. It's like being promised a steak and getting a picture of a cow. I wish they'd just put the full game online. But they won't. They want you to go to Patreon. Of course they do.
The dream sequence at the start is actually kind of cool. You're in this weird void and there's a naked woman. It's all very surreal. Then you wake up and it's just... school. The contrast is jarring. Like going from a rave to a dentist's office. I don't know. Maybe that's the point. The whole thing feels like a fever dream you'd have after eating too much cheese before bed. The music is this looping, generic porno beat that will drill into your skull. I muted it after five minutes. My neighbor probably thinks I'm watching something weird. I am. But not that weird.
Dare to play it alone, or invite company? Just kidding, you'll play it alone. We all do.
