I don't know what I expected from a game called Black Jackets. Maybe some kind of noir thing. Instead I got two office ladies and a deck of cards and honestly that's better.

The premise is you play blackjack against these secretaries, a blonde and a brunette, and when you win they take off their jackets. Then their blouses. Then... you get it. The cards feel weirdly weighted, like the game wants you to lose just enough to keep you clicking. I won four hands in a row once and the brunette just stood there with this blank expression while her skirt vanished. No celebration. No reaction. Just... gone. It was almost unsettling but I couldn't stop. The blonde has this tiny mole on her collarbone that I stared at for probably three minutes straight while deciding whether to hit on 16. That's not a game mechanic, that's just me being pathetic.

The real model thing is interesting I guess. They look like actual humans which somehow makes the whole thing more awkward. Like I'm not playing a game, I'm just some guy in an office after hours watching Carol from accounting slowly remove her blazer while I fail basic probability. The arcade tag is generous. There's no high score, no timer, no nothing. Just you and two women who will never actually acknowledge your existence no matter how many times you bust on 12 because you're an idiot who doesn't understand when to stand.

I wish the game remembered which cards were already played. It doesn't. It won't. The mobile version crashed twice on my phone but I kept reloading because the brunette was down to her stockings and I needed to see if the game would actually let me finish. It did. I felt nothing. Five stars.