Nothing feels more cursed and perfect than loading this thing up and realizing your horny teenage cartoon crush brain never actually grew up. One second you scroll TikTok, next second you’re in a hotel room trying to remember how to flirt in English with a girl who looks suspiciously like Kim Possible but with way less clothing and way more bedroom eyes. The whole vibe is like someone mashed together those old Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon shows in Blender, spilled some porn on the keyboard, and went “yeah, this is good enough.” And somehow it really is. You start as this pretty basic male protagonist, nothing special, just a stand in for your own confused soul, and you get thrown into a world where Katara is blushing and playing shy, Raven looks like she wants to hex you and sit on your face at the same time, and Starfire is smiling like she doesn’t fully understand human boundaries but is super excited to learn on your lap. Every route kind of feels like a fanfic you found on AO3 at the wrong age and never recovered from, except now you actually get to pick the choices instead of just scrolling with one sticky hand and pretending you’re reading for the plot.

Ren’Py stuff always has a certain clunky charm and this one leans into it hard. Text pops up, you click, suddenly Katara is pressing herself against you and the camera is just a little bit too close on her tits, like the dev moved it by hand and said “yeah whatever, that’s good.” Sometimes the English on the choices feels like it’s in the same level as my own, like “Say something romantic” and then your character just blurts out some weird cheesy line that would get you blocked on Instagram, but here it somehow works and she actually smiles. Dialog swings between kind of sweet romance and absolutely filthy trash talk in like two screens. One minute Gwen is shyly telling you she never did this before, next minute she is riding you with this ridiculous anime moaning that would get you kicked out of Discord if you left your mic on. The 3D character models look exactly like those Koikatsu screenshots you see in horny subreddits, slightly plastic skin, huge eyes, weirdly perfect hair, but when Raven slowly undresses and her bra clips a little through her arm, you don’t care at all. You’re just there going “yeah, that’s her, that’s my gloomy cartoon goth wife from TV, finally doing what my 13 year old brain wanted.”

It’s kind of funny how you start trying to “roleplay” a gentleman and five minutes later you click every horny option possible. Like you promise yourself you’ll go slow with Mavis, be cute and respectful, but the game throws this scene where she leans in, fangs barely showing, and whispers something about wanting to taste more than blood, and your fingers betray you immediately. Some routes pretend to be romance and then quickly turn full-on porn; some pretend to be porn and accidentally stumble into feelings. Starfire calling you “boyfriend” after you just railed her on a couch that looks like it came from The Sims really hits different. I kept getting distracted by tiny stuff, like how the hotel backgrounds look slightly too clean, like nobody ever actually slept or fucked there before you, and it annoyed me every time, then I’d forget because suddenly Kim is in a tight dress she clearly can’t breathe in and the only sensible thing to do is help her “take it off.” The pacing is all over the place, sometimes you click through five lines of small talk, then bam, titjob, no warning. Choices actually matter sometimes, sometimes they absolutely don’t, and you only realize after a second playthrough because you were too busy watching Katara’s hips grinding in that weird perfect loop. Whole thing feels like a horny fever dream made by people who loved the same cartoons you did, and maybe had a bit too much free time and access to Koikatsu. I kept telling myself “one more scene and I close it” and then Raven showed up again with that smug little smirk and yeah. Self control gone.