So I'm clicking through this thing, Contact, right, and the whole setup is Mike goes to his grandma's for summer. Classic. But the old lady's store is falling apart and she's, you know, getting up there. So Mike decides to fix her life by, get this, reconnecting her with old friends. And by reconnect I mean he's out there on a quest to, uh, service the entire neighborhood. The first time you see the grandma character model I actually laughed, she's got these proportions that are just... someone on the art team has a very specific thing for older women and they are not subtle about it. The CG scenes pop up and it's like, okay, we're doing this now. Full penetration with a lady who should be discussing arthritis medication. No buildup, just bam, here's a wrinkly tit.

The shop mechanic is there, you click around, sell some items, whatever. Honestly I spent more time trying to figure out why the inventory screen has that weird lag than actually caring about the money. Then Mike's like, time to visit Mrs. Patterson from down the street. She used to bake cookies with grandma. Now she's bent over a kitchen counter with her skirt up. The dialogue is so deadpan about it too. "I haven't felt this young in years," she says, while Mike is just plowing away with the same blank expression he has in every single scene. Wish they'd given him different faces, but they won't.

There's this whole relationship web thing with the friends but it's basically just a checklist of who you've banged. Got a little obsessed with completing it, not gonna lie. The teen tag is there because I think Mike is supposed to be young, but he looks like a 30 year old accountant. And the visual novel parts between the sex are so dry, just people talking about the store inventory and then suddenly someone's top is off. My favorite part is when you unlock a scene with the grandma herself and the game treats it like this big emotional moment, like you've finally helped her truly live again or some shit. Meanwhile I'm just sitting there wondering if the developer's mom knows what he does for a living. The art is unpolished in a way that circles back around to being fascinating, like you can see where they spent all their time and it wasn't on the backgrounds, that's for sure.