I was tracking my unlock paths last night and realized I still hadn't gotten the scene where the red dragon actually lets you touch her horns. That's when it hit me, this whole thing is basically a spreadsheet with tits. You pick dialogue options, the meter moves, and eventually clothes come off. The game calls itself a dating sim but honestly it's more like a hostage negotiation where the hostage is horny and also breathes fire.

The setup is you're some caretaker for these dragon girls, fifty years after some big war between humans and dragons. There's still bad blood, the Holy Templar Order keeps trying to kill them, the dragon clans want revenge, whatever. But none of that matters because you're too busy figuring out which gift makes the blue one stop being such a bitch. I spent twenty minutes just clicking through inventory items. A gem? No. Raw meat? She literally snorted at me. The writing has this weird thing where sometimes it's genuinely funny, like the green dragon making jokes about how humans smell, and then two lines later it's the most wooden exposition dump about clan politics. I don't know why I kept reading it.

The lewd stuff. Right. The animations are stiff, like someone learned Spine for two weeks and called it done. But the designs are good, I'll give it that. The purple dragon has these markings that glow when she's, you know, and it's actually hot. The sound design is just stock moans layered over each other, I've heard better in those weird ASMR apps on Google Play. Speaking of phones, I played this on my browser while my actual phone was updating and honestly the update was more engaging for a solid ten minutes. There's this one scene where the dragon accidentally sits on you and it's supposed to be comedy but it just loops awkwardly for like five seconds. Why did nobody fix that timing? The whole thing feels like it was made in a weekend but also somehow took three years. I'm still going to unlock the horn touching scene though.