The whole thing is a timer panic. You're behind a bar, not a real one, just a screen with bottles and a shaker, and some girl keeps texting you about non-alcoholic cocktails. Like, who the fuck wants a virgin mojito in a porn game? But that's the deal. Reach 100 incomes before the clock dies or no reward. I kept fucking up the pour order. Blue stuff, green stuff, ice, whatever. My hands were sweating like I was actually gonna get fired from a fake job.

The waitress, she's the friend, stands there with this bored look while you mix. Every time you hit a combo right, she does a little bounce. I started getting hard just from her leaning over the counter, which is pathetic but also the point. The juice splashes everywhere if you click too fast. I wasted like twenty seconds trying to figure out why the orange syrup wouldn't go in the tall glass. Turns out you gotta click the glass first, then the bottle. Nobody tells you that. Classic.

There's a weird satisfaction in the rhythm once you stop thinking. Click, pour, shake, serve. The numbers go up. Your wrist hurts. The girl's tits jiggle when you get a perfect order. I kept imagining what the reward would be, probably just a loop of her blowing you or something, but the grind itself became the kink. Like edging but with fruit garnish. I wish there was a way to skip the tutorial text, but there isn't, and the font is ugly as sin. Still, I reloaded the page three times just to see her annoyed face when I served a wrong drink. Don't ask me why that did it for me. Maybe I just like being yelled at by pixel women.