There's this moment in part two, right, where the robot's metallic hand just hovers over her thigh and I swear I could almost feel the cold metal through my phone screen. Sounds stupid, but that's what happened last night when I should've been grinding achievements in something else on Steam. But no, I was on some flash site I won't name because my browser history is already a crime scene.

That robot, holy fuck. It's from a galaxy far away or whatever the story blurb says, something about a princess who needs to get satisfied by five princes. This one's the mechanical prince. And the blowjob scene. Look, I've seen a lot of animated dicks in these games, but the way the art here is intentionally sketchy, almost like someone drew it while also doing something else with their other hand, it actually adds something. A raw quality that cleaner hentai games on Nutaku don't have. The sound design is complete trash though. Little beep boop sounds like a microwave.

The princess, she's got this fairy tale dress that doesn't stay on long, obviously. You just click through positions and phases of the night. There's no challenge, no fail state, it's classic Newgrounds style interaction where your only goal is to get to the next explicit frame. I got stuck for a minute though because one button was off screen on my phone. That's what I get for playing portrait mode. Oh wait, parts three and four apparently exist too but they forgot to upload two? That's what the description says and now I'm wondering if I'm playing them out of order. Gives me a headache. The robot's vacuum tube cock is genuinely funny though, I'll give them that, never seen that before in a sex game. Beep boop indeed.

The whole thing is a timer panic. You're behind a bar, not a real one, just a screen with bottles and a shaker, and some girl keeps texting you about non-alcoholic cocktails. Like, who the fuck wants a virgin mojito in a porn game? But that's the deal. Reach 100 incomes before the clock dies or no reward. I kept fucking up the pour order. Blue stuff, green stuff, ice, whatever. My hands were sweating like I was actually gonna get fired from a fake job.

The waitress, she's the friend, stands there with this bored look while you mix. Every time you hit a combo right, she does a little bounce. I started getting hard just from her leaning over the counter, which is pathetic but also the point. The juice splashes everywhere if you click too fast. I wasted like twenty seconds trying to figure out why the orange syrup wouldn't go in the tall glass. Turns out you gotta click the glass first, then the bottle. Nobody tells you that. Classic.

There's a weird satisfaction in the rhythm once you stop thinking. Click, pour, shake, serve. The numbers go up. Your wrist hurts. The girl's tits jiggle when you get a perfect order. I kept imagining what the reward would be, probably just a loop of her blowing you or something, but the grind itself became the kink. Like edging but with fruit garnish. I wish there was a way to skip the tutorial text, but there isn't, and the font is ugly as sin. Still, I reloaded the page three times just to see her annoyed face when I served a wrong drink. Don't ask me why that did it for me. Maybe I just like being yelled at by pixel women.