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Fuck Mates
★ 4.5 (14)

⏰ Added: 👁 3.9K 💬 1
The first thing that hits you is the smell. Not literally, but the game opens with that goddamn cat song and I nearly closed the tab. Then Phoebe shows up with tits bigger than her guitar and suddenly I'm paying attention. This is a Friends parody where everyone is horny and the jokes are dumber than Joey's acting reel.

The whole thing runs in browser, no download, which is perfect because I was on my phone hiding in the bathroom at work. You click through scenes, pick dialogue options that barely matter, and watch the chaos unfold. Monica deepthroats a banana in the kitchen while Chandler watches from the doorway like a confused puppy. Rachel's nipples are visible through every single top she wears. It's stupid. It's glorious.

Top 3 moments you'll want to screenshot: 1) Ross getting cucked by a guy who looks like a bootleg Bruce Willis. 2) The "we were on a break" argument turning into angry hate-fucking on the couch. 3) Joey eating a sandwich while two blondes go at it behind him, completely oblivious. The rough sex tag is earned, some of these scenes go harder than expected for a comedy parody.

The art is deliberately unpolished, like someone drew it with a mouse in MS Paint after three energy drinks. But honestly? That's the charm. It feels like a shitpost that accidentally became a game. The humor lands because it doesn't try to be clever. Charlie shows up at some point, I think, but I was too busy laughing at the terrible lip sync.

One thing that bugged me: the sound effects. The moaning loops are like five seconds long and they just repeat forever. I had to mute it after two minutes. But then I unmuted it because the cat song came back and I needed to suffer.

If they ever make a DLC, I want a whole episode dedicated to the coffee shop. More public stuff. Maybe Gunther finally snaps and joins in. Until then, this is the dumbest thing I've played all week and I mean that as a compliment.

💬 Comments: 1

🇺🇸 • 27 weeks ago Reply
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