The first sex scene I got was with a girl who had literal cat ears and I still don't know if that's a bug or a feature. The game calls itself New Heaven but it's basically what happens when someone plays too much Sword Art Online and then decides to make a porn game about it. You're this sad office drone who saved up for a Linker System, which is just a fancy way of saying VR headset that lets you fuck in fantasy land. The whole setup is so aggressively 2016 that I almost respect it.

The personality system is where things get weirdly ambitious. 22 personality types based on your choices, and characters actually remember if you were a dick to them three conversations ago. I picked some dialogue option about being honest and suddenly the game decided I was "The Candid" type, which sounds like a shitty indie band name. The minigame is... there's a minigame. I won't explain it because I still don't understand it after three attempts. Something about tapping at the right time while a bar fills up. You know the drill. The animations are custom made which means sometimes they look genuinely good and sometimes the characters move like they're being puppeted by a drunk god. There's a codex too, logging every person and place, which feels like the developer really wanted to make a real RPG but also really wanted to show animated tits.

The writing swings wildly between "oh that's actually clever" and dialogue that reads like it was translated through three different languages before landing in English. One character told me my eyes were "like pools of forgotten tomorrows" and I had to put my phone down for a minute. The affection system means you can slowly build relationships or just be a complete degenerate, and the game doesn't really judge you either way. That's refreshing. Or maybe it's concerning. I keep going back to the cat ear girl even though her storyline makes no sense and I'm pretty sure one of her quests just loops forever. The difficulty options add some actual game to your porn game, which I guess is what the "meaningful choices" tag is about. You can fail conversations. You can miss entire character arcs. The leveling system is just numbers going up but honestly that's all I need sometimes. The fantasy MMO setting is paper thin but the character designs are memorable enough that I remember their names, which is more than I can say for most games in this genre.